1 Private Med/Surg $4,380.00
2 Intensive Care Post ICU $2,080.00
3 Cor Care General $18,900.00
4 Pharmacy General $3,318.34
5 Pharmacy Self Administered $4,096.12
6 Pharmacy IV Solutions $2,569.93
7 Pharmacy Other $97.49
8 IV Therapy General $475.00
9 M/S Supply General $654.38
10 M/S Supply Sterile Supply $2,578.46
11 Laboratory General $1,137.00
12 Laboratory Chemistry $6,784.00
13 Laboratory Immunology $744.00
14 Lab Hematology $2,509.00
15 Lab Bacteriology/Microbio $1,476.00
16 Lab Urology $230.00
17 Radiology Diag General $485.00
18 Radiology Diag Chest Xray $1,500.00
19 Cat Scan Head $889.00
20 OR Svcs General $7,207.00
21 Blood Stor/Proc General $3,452.00
22 Oth Imag Ultrasound $246.00
23 Respiratory SVC General $12,296.00
24 Physical Therapy General $414.00
25 Physical Therapy Evaluate $39.00
26 Occupational TPY General $50.00
27 Occupational TPY Hour CHG $180.00
28 Occupational TPY Evaluate $39.00
29 Speech Pathology Evaluation $114.00
30 Emergency Room General $2,098.00
31 Pulmonary Function General $3,226.00
32 Clinic General $1,573.00
33 MRI Brain (inc brainstem) $2,180.00
34 Drug Spec ID Detail Coding $9,282.04
35 EEG General $753.00
36 Psych SVCS Rehabilitation $277.00
37 Other Ther General $176.00
38 Prof Fees Other $32.00
39 CRNA Services $1,836.00
40 Rapid City Emergency Physician $655.00
ADJ UNINSURED $10,102.88
Billed Charges to date: $101,028.76
Total Due: $90,925.88
PLEASE HELP!
12.20.2009
12.05.2009
take me down
I can't breathe, I can't swallow.
I'm here today, I'll be gone tomorrow.
Lyrics by Paul Westerberg and the Replacements
Album title: "Hootenanny"
Song Title: "Take Me Down to the Hospital"
I've sort of gathered the information necessary to explain what happened that resulted in my most recent extended stay in a medical facility, but it's more difficult when you just can't remember the majority of facts and experiences that form the core. Those who were there have differing recollections or missed key events. So this will probably always be a work in progress. I have consulted with many people but mostly two that I've tried to run through this with chronologically, fact-by-fact. Still, I can barely make sense of it.
I do know I was admitted to Rapid City Regional Hospital on November 22, 2009. I was disoriented and confused. I was admitted to the ICU. In the ICU, I was physically restrained and medicated into a stupor to prevent my unknowing attempts to remove a breathing tube and later, a catheter. This medication and the illness combined to result in a virtual coma. I remember none of this and it continued through Thanksgiving of which I was likewise unaware. A close friend and/or my brother visited me almost daily though I did not realize it.
I was deemed contagious and all who saw me during this time, the aforementioned friend, my brother and the doctors and nurses, wore full protective gear including gowns, masks and plastic facial gear. I was in the ICU, drifting in and out. Hallucinating. Sort of hovering between bad and worse. I could not breathe unassisted and brain-wave activity was minimal. According to the attending physicians, permanent brain damage was likely or had already occurred.
My blood and urine were closely scrutinized. I was never really told what was found or not found.
Still, I cannot independently recall this.
As my senses slowly returned I became aware of my friend's presence but continued to hallucinate. I could not remember her name. She asked me if I knew who she was but her name escaped me. At some point, the breathing tube had been removed and I could speak, albeit in a limited and painful fashion. So I spoke very little when I spoke at all.
I do not recall any of this.
As I slowly fell back to earth, I was moved out of ICU and eventually to the 10th floor. It's been mentioned that I was surly and mean but I don't recall being so. My brother told me I was polite but not particularly pleasant. Go figure!
I was in Room 1012 where I would remain until discharged. I was fitted with a PIC line and fed massive amounts of antibiotics. I slowly began to recall who and where I was. I don't know if it was the previous drug therapy and restraint or the sickness, but I was not always a pleasant fellow. My friend stood by me. My brother missed a week of work for me.
Over time my condition improved as did my memory. My brother brought me some real clothes. T-shirts and athletic shorts and my flip-flops. I started joking with the nurses. I listened intently to the Doctors and followed instructions or even anticipated them. I started doing physical therapy when I wasn't even scheduled to. I excelled in improvement. My hospitalist (primary doctor) marveled at my consistent recovery and improvement. Sue, my primary nurse, was a big factor, consistently encouraging, witty and kind. She was looking out for me.
Friends began calling and showing up to visit. That really made me feel better and I know hastened my recovery. On a particularly good day, 5 visited in person over the course of the day and several others called. I was humbled by their concern.
I was discharged Friday, December 4, 2009 by Dr. Smith. My brother picked me up and we drove back to Hill City. I could only walk with the assistance of a walker but discarded it as soon as I could (basically the next day) knowing I couldn't rely on it for long. Plus, I've got a thing about those kinds of tools. I have too much pride, I guess, too hobble about like an invalid. I'll take it back to the hospital.
Still, speaking was at times difficult so I spoke as little as possible.
After all of this, I'm feeling better each day. Regaining my strength. Wondering what I've done to have so many great, caring friends and family. Each of them helped break my fall and I am grateful. They are wonderful people. This is a wonderful world. I am truly blessed.
12/20/2009 UPDATE: Feeling great. Mentally sharp. Sleeping and eating well. Fully recovered except for some lingering weakness.
12/26/2009 UPDATE: Bills rolling in. Health back to normal. Have taken a job in Minneapolis, MN. Leave soon. Will miss my friends but it is time to move on. Time to regain my place.
The Diagnosis: Bacterial Meningitis.
Bacterial meningitis is one frightening illness. The infection moves so fast, it can kill within days.
In the United States, bacterial meningitis mainly affects adults. Immunizations continue to help prevent childhood bacterial meningitis. Most people who get bacterial meningitis get it from one of two types of bacteria: Streptococcus pneumoniae or Neisseria meningitidis.
These bacteria often live in the body, most often in the nose and throat, without causing illness. But the bacteria can cause meningitis if they get into the bloodstream and travel to the cerebrospinal fluid or the tissues (meninges) that surround the brain and spinal cord. These bacteria also can be passed from one person to another, usually through infected saliva or mucus.
Two other bacteria that sometimes cause meningitis are group B streptococci and Listeria monocytogenes. Meningitis caused by group B streptococci bacteria occurs most often in newborns, who can become infected during or after birth. Meningitis caused by Listeria monocytogenes bacteria occurs most often in newborns and in older adults.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends screening for group B streptococci in all pregnant women at 35 to 37 weeks. Women who have the bacteria are given antibiotics during labor in order to prevent infection in their newborns, and this practice has worked well.
In rare cases, other bacteria cause meningitis, usually in people with long-term medical conditions.
Meningitis also can be caused by other organisms and conditions. It can be a complication of an illness, an injury (particularly to the skull or face), or brain surgery.
Organisms that cause meningitis can be passed from one person to another or passed from rodents and insects to people. But exposure to an organism that causes meningitis does not mean you will get the infection.
Organisms can be passed from one person to another:
Stool could have enteroviruses or certain types of bacteria in it. Washing hands on a regular basis can help prevent you and your children from getting infected this way. More children than adults get meningitis this way.
Through coughing and sneezing. Infected people can pass certain bacteria that are normally found in saliva or mucus in their noses and throats.
Through kissing, sexual contact, or contact with infected blood but fairly rarely through kissing.
In rare cases, some organisms that cause meningitis can be passed to people from rodents and insects. The most common of these are arboviruses (including the St. Louis encephalitis and West Nile viruses), which are transmitted through dust and food contaminated by the urine of infected mice, hamsters, and rats.
I'm here today, I'll be gone tomorrow.
Lyrics by Paul Westerberg and the Replacements
Album title: "Hootenanny"
Song Title: "Take Me Down to the Hospital"
I've sort of gathered the information necessary to explain what happened that resulted in my most recent extended stay in a medical facility, but it's more difficult when you just can't remember the majority of facts and experiences that form the core. Those who were there have differing recollections or missed key events. So this will probably always be a work in progress. I have consulted with many people but mostly two that I've tried to run through this with chronologically, fact-by-fact. Still, I can barely make sense of it.
I do know I was admitted to Rapid City Regional Hospital on November 22, 2009. I was disoriented and confused. I was admitted to the ICU. In the ICU, I was physically restrained and medicated into a stupor to prevent my unknowing attempts to remove a breathing tube and later, a catheter. This medication and the illness combined to result in a virtual coma. I remember none of this and it continued through Thanksgiving of which I was likewise unaware. A close friend and/or my brother visited me almost daily though I did not realize it.
I was deemed contagious and all who saw me during this time, the aforementioned friend, my brother and the doctors and nurses, wore full protective gear including gowns, masks and plastic facial gear. I was in the ICU, drifting in and out. Hallucinating. Sort of hovering between bad and worse. I could not breathe unassisted and brain-wave activity was minimal. According to the attending physicians, permanent brain damage was likely or had already occurred.
My blood and urine were closely scrutinized. I was never really told what was found or not found.
Still, I cannot independently recall this.
As my senses slowly returned I became aware of my friend's presence but continued to hallucinate. I could not remember her name. She asked me if I knew who she was but her name escaped me. At some point, the breathing tube had been removed and I could speak, albeit in a limited and painful fashion. So I spoke very little when I spoke at all.
I do not recall any of this.
As I slowly fell back to earth, I was moved out of ICU and eventually to the 10th floor. It's been mentioned that I was surly and mean but I don't recall being so. My brother told me I was polite but not particularly pleasant. Go figure!
I was in Room 1012 where I would remain until discharged. I was fitted with a PIC line and fed massive amounts of antibiotics. I slowly began to recall who and where I was. I don't know if it was the previous drug therapy and restraint or the sickness, but I was not always a pleasant fellow. My friend stood by me. My brother missed a week of work for me.
Over time my condition improved as did my memory. My brother brought me some real clothes. T-shirts and athletic shorts and my flip-flops. I started joking with the nurses. I listened intently to the Doctors and followed instructions or even anticipated them. I started doing physical therapy when I wasn't even scheduled to. I excelled in improvement. My hospitalist (primary doctor) marveled at my consistent recovery and improvement. Sue, my primary nurse, was a big factor, consistently encouraging, witty and kind. She was looking out for me.
Friends began calling and showing up to visit. That really made me feel better and I know hastened my recovery. On a particularly good day, 5 visited in person over the course of the day and several others called. I was humbled by their concern.
I was discharged Friday, December 4, 2009 by Dr. Smith. My brother picked me up and we drove back to Hill City. I could only walk with the assistance of a walker but discarded it as soon as I could (basically the next day) knowing I couldn't rely on it for long. Plus, I've got a thing about those kinds of tools. I have too much pride, I guess, too hobble about like an invalid. I'll take it back to the hospital.
Still, speaking was at times difficult so I spoke as little as possible.
After all of this, I'm feeling better each day. Regaining my strength. Wondering what I've done to have so many great, caring friends and family. Each of them helped break my fall and I am grateful. They are wonderful people. This is a wonderful world. I am truly blessed.
12/20/2009 UPDATE: Feeling great. Mentally sharp. Sleeping and eating well. Fully recovered except for some lingering weakness.
12/26/2009 UPDATE: Bills rolling in. Health back to normal. Have taken a job in Minneapolis, MN. Leave soon. Will miss my friends but it is time to move on. Time to regain my place.
The Diagnosis: Bacterial Meningitis.
Bacterial meningitis is one frightening illness. The infection moves so fast, it can kill within days.
In the United States, bacterial meningitis mainly affects adults. Immunizations continue to help prevent childhood bacterial meningitis. Most people who get bacterial meningitis get it from one of two types of bacteria: Streptococcus pneumoniae or Neisseria meningitidis.
These bacteria often live in the body, most often in the nose and throat, without causing illness. But the bacteria can cause meningitis if they get into the bloodstream and travel to the cerebrospinal fluid or the tissues (meninges) that surround the brain and spinal cord. These bacteria also can be passed from one person to another, usually through infected saliva or mucus.
Two other bacteria that sometimes cause meningitis are group B streptococci and Listeria monocytogenes. Meningitis caused by group B streptococci bacteria occurs most often in newborns, who can become infected during or after birth. Meningitis caused by Listeria monocytogenes bacteria occurs most often in newborns and in older adults.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends screening for group B streptococci in all pregnant women at 35 to 37 weeks. Women who have the bacteria are given antibiotics during labor in order to prevent infection in their newborns, and this practice has worked well.
In rare cases, other bacteria cause meningitis, usually in people with long-term medical conditions.
Meningitis also can be caused by other organisms and conditions. It can be a complication of an illness, an injury (particularly to the skull or face), or brain surgery.
Organisms that cause meningitis can be passed from one person to another or passed from rodents and insects to people. But exposure to an organism that causes meningitis does not mean you will get the infection.
Organisms can be passed from one person to another:
Stool could have enteroviruses or certain types of bacteria in it. Washing hands on a regular basis can help prevent you and your children from getting infected this way. More children than adults get meningitis this way.
Through coughing and sneezing. Infected people can pass certain bacteria that are normally found in saliva or mucus in their noses and throats.
Through kissing, sexual contact, or contact with infected blood but fairly rarely through kissing.
In rare cases, some organisms that cause meningitis can be passed to people from rodents and insects. The most common of these are arboviruses (including the St. Louis encephalitis and West Nile viruses), which are transmitted through dust and food contaminated by the urine of infected mice, hamsters, and rats.
11.17.2009
11.12.2009
i drew a re-ride
and as soon as get my riggin' back, i'm outa here. next rodeo's in bremerton then all the way down south to henderson. truck's still limpin' along just like me. tore up my ACL in cheyenne, my shoulder was done in for by the time i got to billings and i been drinkin' so much I see blurry in the morning. sometimes my legs go numb.
can't take coffee no more. it eats at my guts. mostly it's just CC and cocaine for breakfast. when I got money. don't see much of that anymore. a gal in el paso asked me to stay. to settle down. but i can't. ridin' keeps me alive. my boots are dirty but not from work. their dirty with the lights, the horses and the dust; sweat and warm beer and copenhagen.
i drew a re-ride tonite. horse wouldn't buck. just took off runnin' on a straight shot to nowhere. just like me, i guess.
can't take coffee no more. it eats at my guts. mostly it's just CC and cocaine for breakfast. when I got money. don't see much of that anymore. a gal in el paso asked me to stay. to settle down. but i can't. ridin' keeps me alive. my boots are dirty but not from work. their dirty with the lights, the horses and the dust; sweat and warm beer and copenhagen.
i drew a re-ride tonite. horse wouldn't buck. just took off runnin' on a straight shot to nowhere. just like me, i guess.
10.30.2009
gravity wagon
wanted a small gravity wagon that might be sitting in your trees or not used any more. any where between 150-250 bushels. need fixing ok let me know what you have and price. will also consider just the box. have access to running gear. thanks
Craigslist South Dakota
PS: who doesn't need a gravity wagon
PPS: that would be a cool band name
Craigslist South Dakota
PS: who doesn't need a gravity wagon
PPS: that would be a cool band name
10.24.2009
grouse with a stick
my brother just told me a story. our older brother, too young at the time, asked Mom if he could take grandpa's shotgun out to hunt grouse.
she said, hell no
dejected, older brother walked out along the country road and happened upon a car-killed grouse. past it's prime. grub infested. he found a stick in the ditch, poked it into the dead bird and carried it home.
he took the impaled dead bird home, walked into the kitchen and said "look Mom, I got a grouse with a stick". Mom didn't miss a beat, she said "you clean it, I'll cook it."
she said, hell no
dejected, older brother walked out along the country road and happened upon a car-killed grouse. past it's prime. grub infested. he found a stick in the ditch, poked it into the dead bird and carried it home.
he took the impaled dead bird home, walked into the kitchen and said "look Mom, I got a grouse with a stick". Mom didn't miss a beat, she said "you clean it, I'll cook it."
10.22.2009
10.17.2009
finally sold the legos
even though it took almost two hours, we sold them dang legos at the 11th street rummage sale. these were non-conforming legos, abnormally big legos in pastel colors. horrifically ugly. someone put them in ziploc freezer bags. there were four bags visible and we started at two bucks a bag, hence an asking price of eight dollars, cash.
my associate and i worked the rummagers individually and in groups. she, having the better business mind, determined our price exceeded value so we dropped the price to five bucks. it wreaked havoc on our margin but at least someone else would have to throw them away or give them away "used". sorta like hand-me-down underwear. uh, thanks grandma.
finally, we got a nibble, then a bite. my associate (Heather) set the hook and we reeled the rummager in at four bucks. it was then that a fifth bag was discovered. having a lawyerly bent, i asserted verbal rescission of contract based on mistake in fact regarding the essential terms.
it was no go. the rummager was prepared for the possibility of rescission and had prepared her argument in advance. she cited south dakota codified law regarding verbal "arrangements" with respect to yard/rummage sales, to wit: All Sales Are Final Regardless. No contractual obligations have been created by the offer or acceptance. South Dakota jungle-monkey-style law.
things were not going well with our venture so i faked left then darted right towards my truck to get my skinning knife and gun. unfortunately i didn't get very far before the rummager's accomplice got a foot in that sent me sprawling. you can still see the dent in the door of the neighbor's truck.
at this point i can only relate what i've been told. i lost consciousness for some time, maybe an hour or so. when i recovered, i guess i kept mumbling, "save the legos, save the legos'.
but heather had already sold all five bags for four bucks. killed our margin. our profit for the day was just about enough to buy a single peanut. if they were still sold individually.
my associate and i worked the rummagers individually and in groups. she, having the better business mind, determined our price exceeded value so we dropped the price to five bucks. it wreaked havoc on our margin but at least someone else would have to throw them away or give them away "used". sorta like hand-me-down underwear. uh, thanks grandma.
finally, we got a nibble, then a bite. my associate (Heather) set the hook and we reeled the rummager in at four bucks. it was then that a fifth bag was discovered. having a lawyerly bent, i asserted verbal rescission of contract based on mistake in fact regarding the essential terms.
it was no go. the rummager was prepared for the possibility of rescission and had prepared her argument in advance. she cited south dakota codified law regarding verbal "arrangements" with respect to yard/rummage sales, to wit: All Sales Are Final Regardless. No contractual obligations have been created by the offer or acceptance. South Dakota jungle-monkey-style law.
things were not going well with our venture so i faked left then darted right towards my truck to get my skinning knife and gun. unfortunately i didn't get very far before the rummager's accomplice got a foot in that sent me sprawling. you can still see the dent in the door of the neighbor's truck.
at this point i can only relate what i've been told. i lost consciousness for some time, maybe an hour or so. when i recovered, i guess i kept mumbling, "save the legos, save the legos'.
but heather had already sold all five bags for four bucks. killed our margin. our profit for the day was just about enough to buy a single peanut. if they were still sold individually.
10.16.2009
laundry at the conoco
i don't particularly like doing laundry but at some point it becomes a necessity if you want to travel about without arousing suspicion. i didn't want to arouse a great deal of suspicion or draw undue attention so i bucked up. i got a roll of quarters at the bank with my debit card and headed for the laundromat because where i'm hiding right now does not include the on site convenience.
i loaded up my truck and headed for the conoco station where you can either do your own laundry or pay and leave it to have it done. i wasn't aware of the second option until i got there or i probably would have paid someone else to do it. i'm lazy when it comes to laundry.
i wasn't able to find my iPod so i was bereft of tunes. i didn't bring a book either (not thinking, i guess). so i sat and stared intently at the wall during the wash cycle simply wishing the time away. then i moved my chair and watched the clothes tumble about through the glass window in the dryer. i imagined a david and goliath scenario as the jeans seemed to be fighting the socks. it was touch and go with all the tumbling and what have you. socks seemed to have an edge. jeans just flopped about lazily.
then a portly, poorly-dressed, scarf-headed-middle-aged lady came in with her laundry in white garbage bags. she gave me a sideways glance. it wasn't a friendly glance. like the transylvanian evil eye. i remained absolutely motionless, sighing occasionally as the socks infiltrated and eventually dominated the jeans. this seemed to concern her even more. the sighing, that is. sensing this, i took it up a level and began constructing a fort from the empty laundry carts. i blocked her access to the soap vending machine.
she left hurriedly. seems she told on me. the attendant came to survey the scene. needless to say, i'll have to do my next load at the other laundromat.
i promise i'll be good.
i loaded up my truck and headed for the conoco station where you can either do your own laundry or pay and leave it to have it done. i wasn't aware of the second option until i got there or i probably would have paid someone else to do it. i'm lazy when it comes to laundry.
i wasn't able to find my iPod so i was bereft of tunes. i didn't bring a book either (not thinking, i guess). so i sat and stared intently at the wall during the wash cycle simply wishing the time away. then i moved my chair and watched the clothes tumble about through the glass window in the dryer. i imagined a david and goliath scenario as the jeans seemed to be fighting the socks. it was touch and go with all the tumbling and what have you. socks seemed to have an edge. jeans just flopped about lazily.
then a portly, poorly-dressed, scarf-headed-middle-aged lady came in with her laundry in white garbage bags. she gave me a sideways glance. it wasn't a friendly glance. like the transylvanian evil eye. i remained absolutely motionless, sighing occasionally as the socks infiltrated and eventually dominated the jeans. this seemed to concern her even more. the sighing, that is. sensing this, i took it up a level and began constructing a fort from the empty laundry carts. i blocked her access to the soap vending machine.
she left hurriedly. seems she told on me. the attendant came to survey the scene. needless to say, i'll have to do my next load at the other laundromat.
i promise i'll be good.
10.14.2009
kooky
I'm kooky in love with a girl so I'm posting this song for her. I have to leave town in two weeks and she can't come with me. I suppose I figure I'll cry like a baby. But even so, I love it all. Love it all. Love it all.
And always will.
The Kooks
Love It All
And always will.
The Kooks
Love It All
10.07.2009
fishin' nickels from the urinal
Left phoenix on the 202, caught the 17 north, cut east at flagstaff, gassed up in Winslow. I-40 to Albuquerque. I-25 north to Santa Fe. Shootin' for Pueblo, Colorado. Truck was loaded tight. Willie in a cage beside me.
Stopped again in Las Vegas, NM. Just to fill the tank. But I was running out of gas and grabbed a motel room instead of driving on. I was thirsty though and after scoring a room key, decided to locate a cold beer amongst the local populace. It didn't take me very long.
Bar was full. It was karaoke night. Three tacos for a dollar. A lot of cowboy hats. Seemed cool though, so I headed for the bar. Had three beers there and realized I should inspect the Men's Room before I had another. It was just left of the pool table.
I ventured in but there was something of a line so I stood back and held my place. I said to the cowboy standing next to me, "How do I move ahead in the line?"
He said, "You don't. But when you get there,if you want to hold your place, 'just pretend your fishing nickels from the urinal."
Stopped again in Las Vegas, NM. Just to fill the tank. But I was running out of gas and grabbed a motel room instead of driving on. I was thirsty though and after scoring a room key, decided to locate a cold beer amongst the local populace. It didn't take me very long.
Bar was full. It was karaoke night. Three tacos for a dollar. A lot of cowboy hats. Seemed cool though, so I headed for the bar. Had three beers there and realized I should inspect the Men's Room before I had another. It was just left of the pool table.
I ventured in but there was something of a line so I stood back and held my place. I said to the cowboy standing next to me, "How do I move ahead in the line?"
He said, "You don't. But when you get there,if you want to hold your place, 'just pretend your fishing nickels from the urinal."
9.28.2009
mexican tackle box
i was broke and needed beer and cigarettes so i borrowed ten bucks from the mexican (Eddie) across the street and later that night he knocked on my door and asked to use my cell phone. because he did for me, i did for him and gave him the phone. i knew he'd bring it back. and he did.
when he did he realized he'd locked his keys in his truck. we got in after about an hour. good thing thing the cops didn't drive by. we couldn't have explained ourselves. neither of us is very smart. he asked if i liked to fish. yes, i said. then he gave me a tackle box with hooks, bobbers, lures and a chain stringer.
probably the best gift i have ever got.
mexican tackle box.
i think i know how it feels
i want to move to Montreal to be in love. as soon as possible. remembering bedrooms. and the colors. gotta get out of here. just go.
i see shadows. eyes shooting sparks. something filled me up, not gonna cry before i turn the summer into dust.
guess this sounds weird but i guess this is how to adjust. can't shoot straight with a point of view.
girl, i'm crashing towards you. i understand it now. my whole life prepared me.
to be yours.
i see shadows. eyes shooting sparks. something filled me up, not gonna cry before i turn the summer into dust.
guess this sounds weird but i guess this is how to adjust. can't shoot straight with a point of view.
girl, i'm crashing towards you. i understand it now. my whole life prepared me.
to be yours.
9.27.2009
ghosts
they live in iceland. ghosts do. they can't often be seen. but a friend caught one in a window. she got a pic. amazing. seems real. sure it's not. a real ghost. I mean because i've seen a few of those. not what you would expect. they look like people. they try to cry but can't. they just scream silently. helplessly hoping you'll take notice.
they have satellite skin and their breathe smells like kerosene. they take everything out of context. i'm scared of them.
they still visit me. they say we won't be sleeping in our own bed. everyone can find their way out. to live is to die.
thanks alexandra mekkin for the pic
9.26.2009
gigantic one way gate
the folks they just can't take it no more.
throw you in the back seat and slam the door. drive you through a gigantic one way gate. a big old nurse all dressed in white, slaps you on a table in the middle of the night. straps you down real tight. shoots you full of thorazine. insulin shock on it's deadly way. you can't move, you can't get away. you thought it was a death sentence but they decided to give you life instead. packed up some stuff to keep in your head.
you wonder what do i have to do? could be TB, maybe a tumor. maybe a sickness i can't prove.
then upon a sunlit day they figure they can't cure you so they send you away. on your merry way. back through the gigantic gate. out onto the dusty street. dirt collecting on you feet. smell's like heaven. an empty place.
no one is waiting for you. nobody's on the outside to be found.
you wonder what's the use, you realize you're just tryin' to stay above the ground. you go ahead and move towards town. your head is empty, your eyes are too. you don't know what to do.
but you know living is dying. it's no place to fall into or out of. so you put on your flyin' shoes and try to be here now. so close and yet so far away.
Townes Van Zandt
John Townes Van Zandt (March 7, 1944 – January 1, 1997), best known as Townes Van Zandt, was a country-folk music singer-songwriter, performer, and poet. Many of his songs, including "If I Needed You," "To Live Is To Fly," and "No Place to Fall" are considered standards of their genre. AllMusic has called him "one of the greatest country and folk artists of his generation."
While alive, Van Zandt was labeled as a cult musician: though he had a small and devoted fanbase, he never had a successful album or single, and even had difficulty keeping his recordings in print. In 1983, Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard covered his song "Pancho and Lefty", scoring a number one hit on the Billboard country music charts. Despite achievements like these, the bulk of his life was spent touring various dive bars, often living in cheap motel rooms, backwoods cabins and on friends' couches. Van Zandt was notorious for his drug addictions, alcoholism, and his tendency to tell tall tales. He suffered from manic depression, and attempts to treat it with insulin shock therapy erased much of his long-term memory.
Van Zandt died on New Years Day 1997 from health problems stemming from years of substance abuse. The 2000s saw a resurgence of interest in Van Zandt. During the decade, two books, a documentary film and a number of magazine articles about the singer were created. Van Zandt's music has been covered by such notable and varied musicians as Bob Dylan, Lyle Lovett, Norah Jones, Steve Earle and The Meat Puppets.
throw you in the back seat and slam the door. drive you through a gigantic one way gate. a big old nurse all dressed in white, slaps you on a table in the middle of the night. straps you down real tight. shoots you full of thorazine. insulin shock on it's deadly way. you can't move, you can't get away. you thought it was a death sentence but they decided to give you life instead. packed up some stuff to keep in your head.
you wonder what do i have to do? could be TB, maybe a tumor. maybe a sickness i can't prove.
then upon a sunlit day they figure they can't cure you so they send you away. on your merry way. back through the gigantic gate. out onto the dusty street. dirt collecting on you feet. smell's like heaven. an empty place.
no one is waiting for you. nobody's on the outside to be found.
you wonder what's the use, you realize you're just tryin' to stay above the ground. you go ahead and move towards town. your head is empty, your eyes are too. you don't know what to do.
but you know living is dying. it's no place to fall into or out of. so you put on your flyin' shoes and try to be here now. so close and yet so far away.
Townes Van Zandt
John Townes Van Zandt (March 7, 1944 – January 1, 1997), best known as Townes Van Zandt, was a country-folk music singer-songwriter, performer, and poet. Many of his songs, including "If I Needed You," "To Live Is To Fly," and "No Place to Fall" are considered standards of their genre. AllMusic has called him "one of the greatest country and folk artists of his generation."
While alive, Van Zandt was labeled as a cult musician: though he had a small and devoted fanbase, he never had a successful album or single, and even had difficulty keeping his recordings in print. In 1983, Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard covered his song "Pancho and Lefty", scoring a number one hit on the Billboard country music charts. Despite achievements like these, the bulk of his life was spent touring various dive bars, often living in cheap motel rooms, backwoods cabins and on friends' couches. Van Zandt was notorious for his drug addictions, alcoholism, and his tendency to tell tall tales. He suffered from manic depression, and attempts to treat it with insulin shock therapy erased much of his long-term memory.
Van Zandt died on New Years Day 1997 from health problems stemming from years of substance abuse. The 2000s saw a resurgence of interest in Van Zandt. During the decade, two books, a documentary film and a number of magazine articles about the singer were created. Van Zandt's music has been covered by such notable and varied musicians as Bob Dylan, Lyle Lovett, Norah Jones, Steve Earle and The Meat Puppets.
9.22.2009
flyin' shoes
It won't be long before I'll be tyin' on my flyin' shoes. It won't be long.
I'd like to stay. See time turn the green water to white and blue, but the mountain moon forever sets too soon.
I get so tired of these same old blues. It won't be long, before I'm tyin' on my flyin' shoes.
Townes Van Zandt
I'd like to stay. See time turn the green water to white and blue, but the mountain moon forever sets too soon.
I get so tired of these same old blues. It won't be long, before I'm tyin' on my flyin' shoes.
Townes Van Zandt
9.15.2009
RIP Jim
One of my very first posts on Hootenanny was about Jim Carroll. His death last Friday reminded me of college summers drinking cheap, no-name whiskey purchased from the bargain bin, smoking what little dope we had and speeding along dirt roads in my Buick Opel in the middle of the night listening to the Jim Carroll Band's "Catholic Boy" on a battery powered cassette player. Jim was an American icon during a long era of great, batshit-crazy writers beginning in the 50's and 60's and including the likes of Hunter S. Thompson and Charles Bukowski. It was writing based in authenticity and as Thompson referred to it, "bad craziness", drugs and alcohol. I learned a new way to write by reading them and though I tried to write like them too, never quite hit the mark. And now Jim's dead too. Rest in peace Jim Carroll, you will be missed.
5.29.2006
if nothing is true ... then everything's permitted
Jim Carroll
A Catholic Boy and a great American poet.
5.29.2006
if nothing is true ... then everything's permitted
A Catholic Boy and a great American poet.
9.13.2009
cannot make this up
I'm sitting outside in the cool desert morning, copy of the Sunday NY Times, beautiful sunrise behind a palm tree silhouette, cigarette and dark roast in hand when I look up and see the neighbor across the street. Never seen him in daylight before. Only behind the porchlight when I'm outside grilling.
I notice he seems to have a basketball tucked under his shirt. Seems odd, but I pay little attention at the time. Back to the paper. Then I glance over again and realize he's not wearing a shirt! Apparently he swallowed a basketball and it's in his belly and it's yet to deflate. As I ponder this, a woman (I think), shows up in a long white bathrobe/cape or some other weirdo-miscellaneous sleeping apparatus (I presume) wearing a plastic shower cap (recent perm?). This presents a scene that will forever be burned in my conscious mind and remind me of the weirdness that is Phoenix, AZ. It's like getting a free ride on the Twister at the parking lot carnival. Or a convenience store pickle.
The best things in life are either cheap or free.
I notice he seems to have a basketball tucked under his shirt. Seems odd, but I pay little attention at the time. Back to the paper. Then I glance over again and realize he's not wearing a shirt! Apparently he swallowed a basketball and it's in his belly and it's yet to deflate. As I ponder this, a woman (I think), shows up in a long white bathrobe/cape or some other weirdo-miscellaneous sleeping apparatus (I presume) wearing a plastic shower cap (recent perm?). This presents a scene that will forever be burned in my conscious mind and remind me of the weirdness that is Phoenix, AZ. It's like getting a free ride on the Twister at the parking lot carnival. Or a convenience store pickle.
The best things in life are either cheap or free.
9.12.2009
siti
This is my friend Siti Nurhafizah. From Kulm, Malaysia. A Muslim. A sweetheart with no harm in her heart. Just a nice kid in a faraway land. She has a pretty smile and a nice disposition and an interest in people everywhere. She taught me how to make stir-fried prawns in Tomyan sauce with cabbage and rice. Awesome!
9.10.2009
don't look away
Got a call tonight from a creditor. My mom "owes" them $165.00 USD. I was listed as a reference, could I help them find her. I said yes, I could. Do you have a number, I was asked. I said I'm not sure about a number, but I can give you a location. Where would that be sir? I said right next to my father in Wall, SD. We buried her there. In a brass box.
The person on the phone didn't get it and asked again, do you have a number? Your dad's number. I said 1964. What? 1964. That's when he died. She didn't miss a beat. OK, then your Mom's number would be? I paused to think. A while thereafter I said try 2005. She asked for the area code and I said 605.
Then she asked how best to contact her. I said with a shovel and a permit. She's dead too. You'll have to dig her up.
She must have been reading a script because she then asked if I was responsible for her debts. Money-wise? I said yeah, I owe. I owe her a lot, but I don't owe you anything.
Poor girl. She didn't mean it. She started crying on the phone. Sometimes people are real. She was.
I said just don't look away. Steal it while you still understand it.
The person on the phone didn't get it and asked again, do you have a number? Your dad's number. I said 1964. What? 1964. That's when he died. She didn't miss a beat. OK, then your Mom's number would be? I paused to think. A while thereafter I said try 2005. She asked for the area code and I said 605.
Then she asked how best to contact her. I said with a shovel and a permit. She's dead too. You'll have to dig her up.
She must have been reading a script because she then asked if I was responsible for her debts. Money-wise? I said yeah, I owe. I owe her a lot, but I don't owe you anything.
Poor girl. She didn't mean it. She started crying on the phone. Sometimes people are real. She was.
I said just don't look away. Steal it while you still understand it.
9.08.2009
forget the swan
I hope you forget everything that doesn't make sense anymore. I know that's asking a lot of you, but maybe you can do it just this one time. For me or for you or for both of us.
Forget the swan.
The elegance we could have had but can't reach right now.
There is a hard road ahead as winter approaches. Our winter after our summer of ease and fun.
Now what seemed so easy becomes so hard.
I know I have to go,
I can really only stay so long
We always have to go back to real lives,
and the reason why we want to live other lives.
To feel another world.
Another world.
One last time.
Forever.
Forget the swan.
The elegance we could have had but can't reach right now.
There is a hard road ahead as winter approaches. Our winter after our summer of ease and fun.
Now what seemed so easy becomes so hard.
I know I have to go,
I can really only stay so long
We always have to go back to real lives,
and the reason why we want to live other lives.
To feel another world.
Another world.
One last time.
Forever.
9.05.2009
how soon is now
Too soon to tell, too early to quit, but soon enough to always option out and run off down a country road. Sometimes you don't got nothing left but a pair of sneakers and a friend and a gravel road to nowhere. Sometimes that's all you need.
Other times you need more. But that's not as easy as running away from it. So you don't and I know you won't. Much as you might want to, I know you won't. I trust in that.
So if I see you some day soon friend, and I know I will, let's put on our sneakers and just run down that road for the hell of it. Down an old gravel turnpike, weeds to either side, a light breeze blowing and the best we could ever hope for.
Thanks Sunneva Snorradóttir, for the awesome photo!
8.31.2009
51st and glendale
I found her at the corner of 51st and Glendale at the feed store. I was buyin' a bag of rosin for my bull rope so I could get it ready for the rodeo coming up in Gilbert. Needed a new glove too. Then I looked down the aisle and saw the damndest, prettiest gal I'd ever seen. Didn't give it too much thought at the time but then I ran into her again at checkout. She was buying salt blocks, chicken feed and ant poison for the damn ants that get into the chicken feed. Not that the chickens won't eat the ants right along with the feed "but they tend to crawl into your boots." she said.
Now I had already taken off my hat (Justin, white straw, 20 bucks on sale at the local western outfitters, made in Mexico), simply hoping she would know what that meant. She commented on my ropers. A little worn, worse for the wear and tear they are. She was wearing ropers to, same color. Not so worn.
She has green eyes and a smile that lights up the sky. She has a voice that I'm sure makes doves cry. And from the moment I heard that voice and paired it with the beauty before me, I knew I was lost. Done for. In love. So I'm sellin' my ropin' gear and my ponies, cheap. Gonna get a real job. Quit ridin'. Quit windin' up in jail every other Saturday in Pueblo CO, Henderson NE, or Yuma AZ. Can't mention Quartzite since the charges are pending. That was not my gun, by the way.
Sounds funny, I know, coming from a hardened old cuss like me. But I still know a pretty flower when I see one. I'll grow a whole garden full of 'em for her. She is the best thing this old cowboy's got close to in a long time.
8.27.2009
little things in life
before I met you baby
the little things in life just passed me by
the sound of children's laughter
the tune to some forgotten lullaby
i was out of town on business
back when i had no place to call my home
i was arrrested by your beauty
we locked into a cell of all our own
you know i love you baby
ah honey what else could i do?
so let me know if there's anything
just anything i can do for you
when i was just a youngster
i collected crazy visions in my head
yeah the scene from 'the night porter'
a broken jelly jar crushed by the bed
yes at times our love was fragile
like a hand me down watch that slows down when its old
but our love could last forever
like a sacred ring of precious stones and gold
before I met you baby
the little things in life just passed me by
the color of the twilight
the reflection of my smile in your eyes
the little things in life just passed me by
the sound of children's laughter
the tune to some forgotten lullaby
i was out of town on business
back when i had no place to call my home
i was arrrested by your beauty
we locked into a cell of all our own
you know i love you baby
ah honey what else could i do?
so let me know if there's anything
just anything i can do for you
when i was just a youngster
i collected crazy visions in my head
yeah the scene from 'the night porter'
a broken jelly jar crushed by the bed
yes at times our love was fragile
like a hand me down watch that slows down when its old
but our love could last forever
like a sacred ring of precious stones and gold
before I met you baby
the little things in life just passed me by
the color of the twilight
the reflection of my smile in your eyes
8.25.2009
helicopters
every time i think that phoenix has taught me a new lesson in intolerance, they throw helicopters at me. i'm sitting outside in a predominantly Mexican occupied trailer-park and a copter hovers overhead, shining a spotlight. i was under a canopy (word to you copter idiots) and couldn't be seen but i'm annoyed. so i stand in the yard and wait and when they flash me, i represent america with a single finger. like nodding at a jehovah's witness, they take the bait. within minutes i'm surrounded by jackbooted thugs and cans of pepper spray.
who are you? what are you doing here (in America shouldn't I be asking that question?)
do you live here? um, maybe, who's asking.
may we approach?
no, you're close enough.
we are concerned that you may be harboring fugitives.
so get a warrant and come back. i'll be asleep and the fugitives that aren't here now probably won't be here then. in the meantime, stay off my property.
they converse, and Cpt. darth vader nods. they leave. mumbling like a gaggle of pure retards.
as they do, i mention the Wafflehouse on McKellips has a cook with M13 tatts. go fuck with him, but not until after you have your eggs, because he's a very good cook. and the waitress will make a fresh pot. if you're nice.
who are you? what are you doing here (in America shouldn't I be asking that question?)
do you live here? um, maybe, who's asking.
may we approach?
no, you're close enough.
we are concerned that you may be harboring fugitives.
so get a warrant and come back. i'll be asleep and the fugitives that aren't here now probably won't be here then. in the meantime, stay off my property.
they converse, and Cpt. darth vader nods. they leave. mumbling like a gaggle of pure retards.
as they do, i mention the Wafflehouse on McKellips has a cook with M13 tatts. go fuck with him, but not until after you have your eggs, because he's a very good cook. and the waitress will make a fresh pot. if you're nice.
8.23.2009
the killer
he came dancing across the water
with his galleons and guns
looking for the new world
a palace in the sun
offered life in sacrifice
so that others could go on
i know she's living there
and she loves me to this day
i still can't remember where or how i lost my way
with his galleons and guns
looking for the new world
a palace in the sun
offered life in sacrifice
so that others could go on
i know she's living there
and she loves me to this day
i still can't remember where or how i lost my way
8.18.2009
if i could lose my mind
This is a short segment paraphrasing the words and work of Curt Kirkwood, who with his brother Chris and Derrick Bostrom, formed one of the greatest, most articulate and more eccentric bands of the early '80's right here in Tempe, AZ. (Tempe? Obviously rich kids.)
Curt lives in Austin now, my friend Ken ran into him there recently, I don't recall Ken's recounting of the conversation but Ken is known in many circles and I'm sure Curt was happy to meet him.
Chris struggled for awhile but has things in order now and is touring with his brother Curt again.
Derrick still lives in Tempe and has a radio gig with Mesa Community College. We speak every now and then (more then than now). He has insight on the early 80's LA scene and when asked about the SST days, he remarked, as I recall, 'it was not fun, Greg Ginn (Black Flag) was an ass'.
I last saw the original group at Cedarfest in Minneapolis in about 1992-3. Don't remember the year but Cedarfest is in August. I biked over from Columbus Ave. and ran into my friend Pat who produced a big fattie. Killer pot. Yikes was I high after that.
The Puppets blew the amps, but a local group whose name I do not recall (I was high, remember?) re-equipped the system in time for Yo La Tengo. Our friends, Tammy and Kim, showed up mid-way through the Yo La Tengo set and it was like magic. Summer in the city.
"There's nothing on top but a bucket and a mop and illustrated book about birds. You might go, but don't be scared, 'cause who needs action when you got words?"
I got a dollar in my pocket and a razor in my shoe.
Plateau.
8.13.2009
gonna go meet up with Bigfoot
he has been monitoring my posts and finally contacted me. he wants to meet. seems he has a legal matter in re a splinter cat. i didn't think they had them up around Vancouver but seems they do and I have agreed to represent him. there will be a lawsuit, recriminations and what have you. i may need to borrow your goat (you goat owners know I mean you) and harness to get into the back country. he won't come out. took me over a month to get him on Twitter. don't know how or where he scored the iPhone. probably a tent raid. when Bigfoot comes into camp you either stand your ground and have a smoke with him or run like a girl. i've done both. mostly because he doesn't bathe often enough and stinks to high heaven. plus, he always gets the joint wet before handing it back. it's like Dude, dry your lips.
but he has been working on his English and I've been teaching him a little French. suspect I'll get him and family moved into the suburbs soon. it's cold enough in Minneapolis for all that hair. and the Mick Jagger lips will be sure to turn some heads. just got to get him some Bono sunglasses so we can down some pints like we did in Dublin in '82.
but he has been working on his English and I've been teaching him a little French. suspect I'll get him and family moved into the suburbs soon. it's cold enough in Minneapolis for all that hair. and the Mick Jagger lips will be sure to turn some heads. just got to get him some Bono sunglasses so we can down some pints like we did in Dublin in '82.
8.12.2009
askew
so it all went askew. the train left the tracks. the car was repossessed. i was left with a handful of roofing nails, a sleeping bag and a dead cat; a bottomless pit with nothing in sight. just darkness in a starless night.
i jumped in my truck and drove three miles east on McKellips Road to the Waffle House. dude with M13 tatts made me three eggs over easy, hash-browns and toast. he threw out the coffee and made a fresh pot. there was no one there so we stepped outside for a cigarette - i quit smoking about two years ago but i smoked one there. in the parking lot. by the door. didn't really talk. had nothing to say.
it all comes down to this. no place to go. no place to be. no one to count on. one pair of shoes, two pairs of pants. a blue shirt and the desert before me.
helpless
i jumped in my truck and drove three miles east on McKellips Road to the Waffle House. dude with M13 tatts made me three eggs over easy, hash-browns and toast. he threw out the coffee and made a fresh pot. there was no one there so we stepped outside for a cigarette - i quit smoking about two years ago but i smoked one there. in the parking lot. by the door. didn't really talk. had nothing to say.
it all comes down to this. no place to go. no place to be. no one to count on. one pair of shoes, two pairs of pants. a blue shirt and the desert before me.
helpless
8.08.2009
i can't screw this up
I've been trying very hard to write what I think and what I want to say, but it's not that easy. It's actually very hard. I think I've run into a buzzsaw of emotion because I've found an inescapably beautiful friend. A lifelong deal. A person dear to me. Very dear.
She is the prettiest girl in the world. On every level. It's a solid hold. I don't want anything else.
I'm going to stay with her forever.
If I can.
She is the prettiest girl in the world. On every level. It's a solid hold. I don't want anything else.
I'm going to stay with her forever.
If I can.
8.04.2009
when it gets hot
When it gets hot in Phoenix we go into full retreat. Air conditioned cars take us to air conditioned offices. We try to park in the shade and determine the best vector into the air conditioned space awaiting. Sidewalks have no purpose to this effort, the grass is dormant anyway, the trees are always the same, always in bloom.
But when you get used to it, you just slow down and take a considered approach. One step at a time. Car, pavement, door, ultimately nirvana. You keep your clothes light and water at hand. You enjoy the heat. It refreshes you. And you go on. Until you go outside again. And do it all over again.
But when you get used to it, you just slow down and take a considered approach. One step at a time. Car, pavement, door, ultimately nirvana. You keep your clothes light and water at hand. You enjoy the heat. It refreshes you. And you go on. Until you go outside again. And do it all over again.
the worst of us
small infractions emotionally. misunderstandings. tiny thinking. love in a vacuum that spans a continent. true weirdness. little hope.
realizing you don't want out, you want in
forever
and ever
realizing you don't want out, you want in
forever
and ever
the best of us
Can't quite compete. We just run in the race. Hoping we make it to the endline and have someone waiting there. I do. I know that much. If nothing else.
i'm in love with a girl
I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl
Who's still around the morning after
We broke up a month ago, and I grew up - I didn't know
I'd be around the morning after
It's always been wait and see
A happy day and then you'll pay
And feel like shit the morning after
But now I feel changed around
And instead of falling down
I'm standing up the morning after
Situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later
I could be another fool or an exception to the rule
You tell me the morning after
Crooked spin can't come to rest
I'm damaged bad at best
She'll decide what she wants
I'll probably be the last to know
No one says it 'til it shows
See how it is, they want you or they don't
Say yes
7.23.2009
moses
moses belman lived in the apartment beneath my brother in Rapid City. moses was an old man with diabetes and a predilection for alcohol. when he was sober he was kind and an affable gardener. when he was drunk, the others took advantage. moses would show up at the door, having taken a beating, asking for help. so we'd call the cops and oddly enough, his name was already on file. moses was well known on that level.
i stood in for moses when i could as did my brother. but neither he nor i could stop moses from pointing a toy pistol at the RC cops. they shot moses on july 17 in the alley behind the house. caught him in the leg first but the rookie planted a shock round in his chest. moses died.
the landlord asked us to go into his basement apartment because he thought we were friends of his and he was right. but moses didn't leave a trace. just pots and pans and magazines and other shit he'd pulled from dumpsters over time.
moses was a recycler. the first time he asked me to haul him and his aluminum to scrap dealers, i did. those old beer cans stank to high hell but when moses got paid, he gave me ten bucks. i expected nothing and tried to refuse so he hid it under my cigarettes. i found it later.
RIP Moses Belman, you were alright by me.
i stood in for moses when i could as did my brother. but neither he nor i could stop moses from pointing a toy pistol at the RC cops. they shot moses on july 17 in the alley behind the house. caught him in the leg first but the rookie planted a shock round in his chest. moses died.
the landlord asked us to go into his basement apartment because he thought we were friends of his and he was right. but moses didn't leave a trace. just pots and pans and magazines and other shit he'd pulled from dumpsters over time.
moses was a recycler. the first time he asked me to haul him and his aluminum to scrap dealers, i did. those old beer cans stank to high hell but when moses got paid, he gave me ten bucks. i expected nothing and tried to refuse so he hid it under my cigarettes. i found it later.
RIP Moses Belman, you were alright by me.
7.17.2009
slow motion hero
Stopping for beer and cigarettes at the Quick Stop on 79th Ave in N Phoenix, already a little jagged, we see 5 of the City's finest. Just hanging out, drinking free sodas. I freak. My friend doesn't.
I ask, whispering, "should we just get out of here?"
He says no.
What then? I ask.
He says "can't make a sound, can't make a sound".
We didn't. They didn't even notice. We got beer and cigarettes.
Back outside, my buddy explained that's slow motion, they don't Tase you unless your too quick.
I really don't know what that means but it worked.
I ask, whispering, "should we just get out of here?"
He says no.
What then? I ask.
He says "can't make a sound, can't make a sound".
We didn't. They didn't even notice. We got beer and cigarettes.
Back outside, my buddy explained that's slow motion, they don't Tase you unless your too quick.
I really don't know what that means but it worked.
mogollon ridge
I drove up to the Mogollon Ridge today. 111 degrees in the valley, 78 at 7K altitude just south of Flagstaff. I drove off the BC freeway and took a dirt road into the woods and parked. I kicked around a bit and then I saw two pine cones. That got my attention. They reminded me why I was there. For a friend. My friend.
So I took them. I have them. I'm going to keep them.
So I took them. I have them. I'm going to keep them.
7.15.2009
7.14.2009
caution sweepers ahead
coming home on the 60 tonight I see the freeway alert signs that hang under the bridges and while it usually tells me to carpool due to ozone danger, tonight it said "caution sweepers ahead". i kept a watchful eye out for sweepers but didn't see any or even know what i was looking for. apparently they were too far ahead.
7.13.2009
bigger than
i can't stop thinking about how, exactly, to write it.
you have green eyes, i have blue. you have a smile that tears up pavement, breaks windows, hearts and hard coffee .
i don't have anything for you in return.
except
if I could make my heart bigger , if I could make it even bigger than that again
it wouldn't even come close to how big it can be.
you have green eyes, i have blue. you have a smile that tears up pavement, breaks windows, hearts and hard coffee .
i don't have anything for you in return.
except
if I could make my heart bigger , if I could make it even bigger than that again
it wouldn't even come close to how big it can be.
7.12.2009
have you ever had
a friend you didn't know at first?
that sort of friend that got a hold of you?
and you couldn't figure out why?
but then you went over the edge
lost contact
fell hard
couldn't explain it
fell in love?
that sort of friend that got a hold of you?
and you couldn't figure out why?
but then you went over the edge
lost contact
fell hard
couldn't explain it
fell in love?
7.10.2009
biblical
i should probably get religiously biblical. grow my hair long. cultivate a beard. become a carpenter. but I wonder, a little less than a suicide or just a fond farewell to a friend
it's a dull life
the pigs are in the tunnel
the sharks are ready to feed
HST is dead
Dep blew him up
king of the world!
shout out to my peeps and my girl
the sharks are ready to feed
HST is dead
Dep blew him up
king of the world!
shout out to my peeps and my girl
7.09.2009
look me in the eye and tell me that i'm satisfied
bought a shovel and a lawnmower
hired a crew
started tending yards
cleaning pools
poisoning ants and crickets
but as busy as I am i still
miss her every second of every day
hired a crew
started tending yards
cleaning pools
poisoning ants and crickets
but as busy as I am i still
miss her every second of every day
mcdonalds
please be seated, this might take awhile
so i go to mcdonalds, pull up to the talking order box and order a quarter lb'er with cheese, plain - just bread, cheese and burger (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) ... and could i get some pickles 'on the side'?
the order taker sounded cute but apparently i blew her mind and exceeded the collective capacity of the McD's POS and upper management. "we just microwave it, sir, for the 35 seconds it takes you to drive from there (talking menu box) to here (one of two windows where the goods are dispensed)", but "i'm not authorized to give you pickles in a separate container".
what? not authorized?
i wondered. is there a sliced pickle shortage? is ths a result of the bad economy? the last swipe of a doomed Republican party? pickle nazis? bikers? meth-heads? for Chrissakes, I just wanted my pickles on the side. in a separate container. to use according to my own plan.
i was then asked to approach the 'second window'. i'm frightened by that (and wondering why I wasn't first window material), but do as told.
when i get there i'm given a burger in one sack with knapkins and another sack with six little lidded plastic containers full of pickles and 15 ketchups. a cute little gal swipes my card but before she hands me my receipt, she says 'wait just a sec'. having just learned a lesson in fast food obedience, i held tight. i figured they were getting a good digi-cam photo for the cops. i keep a loaded gun in the truck so I was ready for a shootout if necessary and i always wanted to be that guy on the news, running from the cops, filmed from above, but i didn't have to put the gun in play ...
she gave me my receipt and on it she had written her name and number ... "Call me, I'm Maria - 480-679 -****" you're sweet".
and i thought, yes, maybe i am and maybe i will
incredible guitar solo
you're not gonna get me through this, are you?
maybe i'll just bang out an incredible guitar solo
and skid on a patch of sunshine
maybe i'll just bang out an incredible guitar solo
and skid on a patch of sunshine
7.08.2009
i will dare
i was asked to write a story about a strange day. i usually don't take requests but this one was compelling. there won't be a punchline and i'm not going to tell you what happened other than to say it was an upside down kind of day, the kind of day that is more interesting than the others.
a day you want to put behind you or relive over and over again.
a day you want to put behind you or relive over and over again.
7.06.2009
roscoe waller
Roscoe Waller couldn't run as fast as his brother Chuck. In fact, Roscoe ran like a girl. His legs and feet flying out to either side and that weird little herky-jerky-chicken-wing-pump-flap with his arms. Because of this flawed locomotion, we always caught Roscoe when we chased him home from school each late afternoon. We never caught Chuck. He was too fast and always got away. Roscoe's daily beatings probably toughened him up though, because we never heard him say uncle and we never saw him cry.
Playing little league baseball, Roscoe awed us with his ability get a step beyond that strange, uncoordinated gallop by throwing a ball even worse than most girls. He could sort of shot put the ball out about fourteen feet before taking a digger for the effort. Hence, additional (after-practice) beatings ensued. At the end of a practice or scrimmage, Roscoe would make a run for it, but had a crappy old Huffy banana bike with a low-rise sissy bar and a tired chain. We usually caught him before he could get past the airport road and definitely in the parking lot of the telephone company if he slipped the first noose, which he rarely did.
Looking back, for us it was the best of times and for Roscoe, it must have been the worst. I imagine him sitting alone in his room drawing up makeshift maps with city streets and territories marked 'there be dragons here' or 'lions and tigers and bears'. But through it all, Roscoe seemed to take it in stride. Apparently accepting it was his lot in life.
I knew Roscoe better than most. We went to the same church, were Sunday Acolytes and were confirmed on the same Sunday. That day, Roscoe answered the majority of the questions posed by the Minister in front of the assembled congregation and after the service, he gave each of us a miniature Abridged King James Bible in which he wrote, "Your Friend, Roscoe". Sucked the wind out of me.
Cheers to you, Roscoe.
Playing little league baseball, Roscoe awed us with his ability get a step beyond that strange, uncoordinated gallop by throwing a ball even worse than most girls. He could sort of shot put the ball out about fourteen feet before taking a digger for the effort. Hence, additional (after-practice) beatings ensued. At the end of a practice or scrimmage, Roscoe would make a run for it, but had a crappy old Huffy banana bike with a low-rise sissy bar and a tired chain. We usually caught him before he could get past the airport road and definitely in the parking lot of the telephone company if he slipped the first noose, which he rarely did.
Looking back, for us it was the best of times and for Roscoe, it must have been the worst. I imagine him sitting alone in his room drawing up makeshift maps with city streets and territories marked 'there be dragons here' or 'lions and tigers and bears'. But through it all, Roscoe seemed to take it in stride. Apparently accepting it was his lot in life.
I knew Roscoe better than most. We went to the same church, were Sunday Acolytes and were confirmed on the same Sunday. That day, Roscoe answered the majority of the questions posed by the Minister in front of the assembled congregation and after the service, he gave each of us a miniature Abridged King James Bible in which he wrote, "Your Friend, Roscoe". Sucked the wind out of me.
Cheers to you, Roscoe.
7.03.2009
Aim for the body rare, you'll see it on TV
The worst thing in 1954 was the Bikini
See the girl on the TV dressed in a Bikini
She doesn't think so but she's dressed for the H-Bomb
(For the H-Bomb)
I found that essence rare, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for
Aim for the country fair you read it in the papers
The worst happens any week a scandal on the front page
See the happy pair smiling close like they are monkeys
They wouldn't think so but they're holding themselves down
(Hold themselves down)
I found that essence rare, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for
I found that essence rare, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for
Aim for politicians fair who'll treat your vote hope well
The last thing they'll ever do act in your interest
Look at the world through your polaroid glasses
Things'll look a whole lot better for the working classes
(Working classes)
I found that essence rare, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for
I found that essence rare, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for
The worst thing in 1954 was the Bikini
See the girl on the TV dressed in a Bikini
She doesn't think so but she's dressed for the H-Bomb
(For the H-Bomb)
I found that essence rare, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for
Aim for the country fair you read it in the papers
The worst happens any week a scandal on the front page
See the happy pair smiling close like they are monkeys
They wouldn't think so but they're holding themselves down
(Hold themselves down)
I found that essence rare, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for
I found that essence rare, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for
Aim for politicians fair who'll treat your vote hope well
The last thing they'll ever do act in your interest
Look at the world through your polaroid glasses
Things'll look a whole lot better for the working classes
(Working classes)
I found that essence rare, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for
I found that essence rare, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for
6.22.2009
rodeos and indians
went to a rodeo and concert at the rodeo grounds in Interior in 1990. me and a guy named Tim (some of you know him). we had some beer and a pack of smokes between the two of us. nothing more.
we hit the grounds and quickly realized it was an all-indian affair. didn't matter, we pushed in and got the truck right up against the arena. couple of remarks about crazy wasicu and it was left at that.
we ran out of beer right quick because folks asked and we said "in the cooler". we had about 20 bucks between us so we moseyed over to the bootlegger and bought Buds for a dollar a can ...
then we plumb ran out - no cigarettes, no beer. friends filled the gap. we'd made friends by giving and the response was giving back or maybe giving again would be a better way to say it. we smoked and drank all night. if the truck didn't know it's way home on it's own, we'd have slept in the dirt parking lot. safe as horses.
we hit the grounds and quickly realized it was an all-indian affair. didn't matter, we pushed in and got the truck right up against the arena. couple of remarks about crazy wasicu and it was left at that.
we ran out of beer right quick because folks asked and we said "in the cooler". we had about 20 bucks between us so we moseyed over to the bootlegger and bought Buds for a dollar a can ...
then we plumb ran out - no cigarettes, no beer. friends filled the gap. we'd made friends by giving and the response was giving back or maybe giving again would be a better way to say it. we smoked and drank all night. if the truck didn't know it's way home on it's own, we'd have slept in the dirt parking lot. safe as horses.
6.18.2009
here
i like to sit outside and watch my cat and good friend Willie
he sits in the grass, eats it, barfs and chases bugs
usually, when I say Willie "come here"
he does
but only when I can't see him
when I can he see him he just looks at me like I'm a Moron
and doesn't come
tonight it dawned on me
he didn't understand my request
he was already "here"
maybe I should have worked on teaching him "come closer"
he sits in the grass, eats it, barfs and chases bugs
usually, when I say Willie "come here"
he does
but only when I can't see him
when I can he see him he just looks at me like I'm a Moron
and doesn't come
tonight it dawned on me
he didn't understand my request
he was already "here"
maybe I should have worked on teaching him "come closer"
6.17.2009
why do you call it hootenanny
someone asked me about this website
what is it about?
what does it mean?
since i didn't know how to answer and I didn't think she would get the interplay of my literary references (especially DFW and HST)
i simply referred to jackson pollock
i don't like his work so much as his approach - splatter art
so i told her
he throws paint at canvas and other people look at it
and they probably don't understand
but they wonder
they think he's an artist
maybe you and i are artists too
blackhawk down
i was out in the backyard mowing the four square feet of lawn and trimming up with the Black&Decker window breaker when a Blackhawk helicopter flew over, hovered and then the dude in the doorway sniper-scoped me. i flipped him off. the copter careened off to the east. i suspect an arrest is imminent.
6.15.2009
sizes
two feet, two shoes
a pair of pants and a shirt
requiring sizes
thought and estimation
because shoes are expensive
shirts and pants not so much
a pair of pants and a shirt
requiring sizes
thought and estimation
because shoes are expensive
shirts and pants not so much
6.09.2009
favorite almost uncle ever
Can you really do better than that? My favorite-almost-niece-ever Twittered me with that line. I'm her favorite almost uncle. Her Dad is my best friend.
She is smarter than me. That's why I like her so much. She is wittier than anyone else I know, so that's a plus. She's lazy, like me, and loves books (tho I'm a bit of an ass when it comes to chic-lit). I bet she likes opera too. She has that quality. It's pretty rare.
She is smarter than me. That's why I like her so much. She is wittier than anyone else I know, so that's a plus. She's lazy, like me, and loves books (tho I'm a bit of an ass when it comes to chic-lit). I bet she likes opera too. She has that quality. It's pretty rare.
6.03.2009
time ain't nothin'
Walking down dusty roads
Looking for horny toads
With the sun on my back
Thinking about people past
Memories that never last
When you're young and naive
Time ain't nothing
When you're young at heart
And your soul still burns
I've seen rainy days
Sunshine that never fades
All through the night
Had a motorcycle at 10
Never got into heroin
I guess I want to live
Maybe get a house someday
Find a wife raise a family
That don't mean you have to die
Time ain't nothing
When you're young at heart
And your soul still burns
I've seen rainy days
Sunshine that never fades
All through the night
Looking for horny toads
With the sun on my back
Thinking about people past
Memories that never last
When you're young and naive
Time ain't nothing
When you're young at heart
And your soul still burns
I've seen rainy days
Sunshine that never fades
All through the night
Had a motorcycle at 10
Never got into heroin
I guess I want to live
Maybe get a house someday
Find a wife raise a family
That don't mean you have to die
Time ain't nothing
When you're young at heart
And your soul still burns
I've seen rainy days
Sunshine that never fades
All through the night
5.30.2009
elkton house
Hootenanny has just learned of the transfer in ownership of the Elkton House in Wall, South Dakota. Wall is a small town of about 700 semi-lost souls on the edge of the Badlands in South Dakota and the Elkton House is a beacon of hospitality and satisfying, well-prepared family food in a well appointed environment situated in the heart of the motel district just off the town's only boulevard. (And I mean motel, not hotel. There are no hotels in Wall. All of the rooms open onto the parking lot. Nonetheless, it's a hospitable town of accomplished and dedicated 'moteliers' and otherwise.)
What I've heard though is that the new ownership of the Elkton House is contemplating the establishment of a 'gentleman's club'. Yes, they want to turn it into a titty bar. A gosh darned titty bar. In Wall. Just up the street from the school I might add.
At this titty bar, they will of course hire dancers. That is what they will call them. They'll really be nickel and dime prostitutes from Arkansas, the Carolinas and Texas but they'll argue they're all just feeding a family or working towards that degree that will spring them from the stage fees that keep them tied up like slaves.
Leaving aside the community issues (because ultimately, this idea will fail on that level and become fodder for lawyers if pursued), let's consider the likelihood this would actually succeed as a business.
In Wall, as noted above, there are about 700 people wandering around. A large proportion of these are women and children. Another large proportion are males who are either family men or otherwise wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this in their hometown. That leaves you about 30 likely candidates most of whom would show up once just to have a look and would never come back. Now you're down to to three or four. The pariahs. The untouchables. Wall's version of a ghetto crackhead. If there were enough of them, I'd say go ahead, you can't lose with those guys. But the dancers don't work for spare change only so we're back to square one. Pardon the French but we're talking skanks here. A small step up from a disease-ridden truck-stop lot lizard. Maybe. There's no real dancer money to be had in the eastern Pennington County market. Not legally anyways.
So does that mean your target audience is going to wind down to single male tourists of a "sporting" nature? (Are there a lot of those outside of Bangkok, Thailand?) In June you'll get a few custom harvesters but they work all day and into the night. In August, you'll spot some Hell's Angels, Outlaws and Bandidos due to Sturgis Bike Week. Guys from Phillip and Kadoka will round out your year and you might catch a few big-dollar, fat guys from the east coast in the area for deer hunting season in the fall. Slim pickings overall, I would guess, because even if you try to run this locally as a regular restaurant the rest of the time - no one will come. No one.
We should support business freedom and individual rights and a property owner's right to present a tax-based business model with adequate community support. But, most of all, we should support the community's right to reject it based on sound home-based reasoning and accepted community standards. It's called zoning. They ought to zone this idea and these crackpot owners right out of town.
Perhaps they'd do as well or better in Quinn or Wasta. Hell, when Tim owned the Wasta Bar, the last time I was there, there was a saddled horse in the bar before 10:00 PM. I'd pay more for that than a worn out idea.
What I've heard though is that the new ownership of the Elkton House is contemplating the establishment of a 'gentleman's club'. Yes, they want to turn it into a titty bar. A gosh darned titty bar. In Wall. Just up the street from the school I might add.
At this titty bar, they will of course hire dancers. That is what they will call them. They'll really be nickel and dime prostitutes from Arkansas, the Carolinas and Texas but they'll argue they're all just feeding a family or working towards that degree that will spring them from the stage fees that keep them tied up like slaves.
Leaving aside the community issues (because ultimately, this idea will fail on that level and become fodder for lawyers if pursued), let's consider the likelihood this would actually succeed as a business.
In Wall, as noted above, there are about 700 people wandering around. A large proportion of these are women and children. Another large proportion are males who are either family men or otherwise wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this in their hometown. That leaves you about 30 likely candidates most of whom would show up once just to have a look and would never come back. Now you're down to to three or four. The pariahs. The untouchables. Wall's version of a ghetto crackhead. If there were enough of them, I'd say go ahead, you can't lose with those guys. But the dancers don't work for spare change only so we're back to square one. Pardon the French but we're talking skanks here. A small step up from a disease-ridden truck-stop lot lizard. Maybe. There's no real dancer money to be had in the eastern Pennington County market. Not legally anyways.
So does that mean your target audience is going to wind down to single male tourists of a "sporting" nature? (Are there a lot of those outside of Bangkok, Thailand?) In June you'll get a few custom harvesters but they work all day and into the night. In August, you'll spot some Hell's Angels, Outlaws and Bandidos due to Sturgis Bike Week. Guys from Phillip and Kadoka will round out your year and you might catch a few big-dollar, fat guys from the east coast in the area for deer hunting season in the fall. Slim pickings overall, I would guess, because even if you try to run this locally as a regular restaurant the rest of the time - no one will come. No one.
We should support business freedom and individual rights and a property owner's right to present a tax-based business model with adequate community support. But, most of all, we should support the community's right to reject it based on sound home-based reasoning and accepted community standards. It's called zoning. They ought to zone this idea and these crackpot owners right out of town.
Perhaps they'd do as well or better in Quinn or Wasta. Hell, when Tim owned the Wasta Bar, the last time I was there, there was a saddled horse in the bar before 10:00 PM. I'd pay more for that than a worn out idea.
5.26.2009
i'm charlie chaplin
and what about the memorial to the lost
we think it was so long ago
Auschwitz
Belsen
a survivor stated she was given two left shoes and she said look
i'm charlie chaplin
she lived
i couldn't get out of my bunk
but my mother made me
unbelievable
we think it was so long ago
Auschwitz
Belsen
a survivor stated she was given two left shoes and she said look
i'm charlie chaplin
she lived
i couldn't get out of my bunk
but my mother made me
unbelievable
5.25.2009
memorial day
PINE RIDGE, SD. High on a windblown hill overlooking the Red Cloud Indian School, one Lakota name stands out among the gravestones in the Holy Rosary Church cemetery.
Red Cloud, the Lakota leader and warrior for whom the Jesuit-run educational mission is named, is buried in the school's historic cemetery. Red Cloud was born in 1822 and died at the age of 87 on Dec. 10, 1909.
This is Red Cloud's final resting place, often decorated with tobacco pouches, trinkets and other tributes to the Lakota leader. The old cemetery is closed to new burials now, but the history of that transitional period for the Lakota tribe is written in its granite headstones. The graves tell of a nomadic warrior culture rapidly replaced by life on an arid reservation. There are graves of numerous Lakota men that are also engraved with the words "U.S. Army Scout." The graves of schoolchildren who died while attending the boarding school tell the history of assimilation through the U.S. government's educational policy. The victims of several deadly blizzards that hit in the early 1900s speak of the dangers and deprivations that were part of daily life.
The grave markers document the events of the time. Red Cloud faced intense criticism within his own tribe for his decision to invite the "Blackrobes," as he called the Jesuits and their long black cassocks, to educate future generations on the reservation. The schools were often mean and dirty, offering lille hope for a better life. But Red Cloud saw that the traditional life of his Lakota people was ending and that in order for his people to prosper, their children would have to be educated to walk in both the Lakota world and the white man's world. Today, on Memorial Day, 100 years after his death, when we honor our warriors, Red Cloud's gravestone speaks across the century to the bridges and partnerships he fostered and promoted. Washte, kola.
5.24.2009
hitch 'em tall
run westy run. you can look this band up online but you probably missed most of their shows in Mpls at 1st Ave or the 7th St Entry. we saw them all in various states of inebriation. we were acting like bad oranges.
5.23.2009
when the world is running down you make the best of what's still around
In my case it meant borrowing my friends .308 with 15x Leopold scope, loading up an S&M .357 revolver with the 'Magna Shocks', filling the 25 round banana clip on the Ruger and heading for Nogales. Of course, I stopped for cigarettes and beer and ice in Tucson. At a truck stop. Traded some jokes with the lot lizards and drove south and then east to Nogales. The plan was to hunt 'coyotes'.
They aren't hard to find. I used my binoculars before I scoped them with the Leopold attached to an elephant gun (high bore .308) that can reach out over a mile if I judge the trajectory correctly. I usually do.
So the dudes come flying up in a big truck and get tough, verbally. I step out with my can of Copenhagen and take a dip and say what's with the hassle? The big fat one said what are you doing here? I said, hunting coyotes. He looked down, and dug a hole in the ground with his boot and said "Mexican Coyotes"?
I said, whatever pays. Sixteen bales up to Pueblo, CO paid 17K. Heck, it was just weed.
They aren't hard to find. I used my binoculars before I scoped them with the Leopold attached to an elephant gun (high bore .308) that can reach out over a mile if I judge the trajectory correctly. I usually do.
So the dudes come flying up in a big truck and get tough, verbally. I step out with my can of Copenhagen and take a dip and say what's with the hassle? The big fat one said what are you doing here? I said, hunting coyotes. He looked down, and dug a hole in the ground with his boot and said "Mexican Coyotes"?
I said, whatever pays. Sixteen bales up to Pueblo, CO paid 17K. Heck, it was just weed.
5.16.2009
the summer of lori
starts with a party on june 4th, when she's done teaching. according to lori, herself. the best way to describe lori would be to mention she's got a pretty twinkle and fierce spark; a little bash and some pop. about five-feet four-inches tall, give or take; smart-mouthed and as sweet as a frosted cupcake.
and had you seen her tonight in that spaghetti strap dress you would have stayed until last call too.
and had you seen her tonight in that spaghetti strap dress you would have stayed until last call too.
5.13.2009
handled it
Willie handled the desert camping well but of course he would bacause he's a hobo cat with travel under his belt. He's straight-edge hobo. Comes and goes when it pleases him, sleeps and eats here at home, reads my newspaper and wanders off again for the better part of the day. If he has a job, he sure ain't paying rent or buying his own Purina.
Since he ain't been around tonight, I figure he's headed to Higley where he runs a string out of Candace Bergen's guest house. There ain't a lot of cats that can handle that kind of action.
Since he ain't been around tonight, I figure he's headed to Higley where he runs a string out of Candace Bergen's guest house. There ain't a lot of cats that can handle that kind of action.
5.11.2009
different names
for the same thing:
weiners, hot dogs, frankfurters
noodles, pasta
ketchup, catsup
coincidence?
don't know but you can't find nothing at all if there was nothing there all along
(DCFC)
weiners, hot dogs, frankfurters
noodles, pasta
ketchup, catsup
coincidence?
don't know but you can't find nothing at all if there was nothing there all along
(DCFC)
gas station tamales
Seems like the gig is up. The new owner at the Ray-Cooper Texaco won't let them peddle tamales from the back room anymore. I left my cell number with the cute tamale lady and expect a call today when my half dozen are ready. My tamale lady cooks on the side. I am all hooked up. Three beef, three pollo. Willie eats the leftover masa and smokes the greasy cornstalks. He's a weird little half-Siamese. Grows little red peppers in the backyard. Meditates a lot. Or is just sleeping.
Anyway, this gal, Lisa, makes the best tamales on the planet. She's my tamale lady and is cute as a kitten. She has a careful smile and flashes her big, searching brown eyes. Sometimes she even throws out a little pout in with a concerned look and becomes the prettiest girl in the world.
Anyway, this gal, Lisa, makes the best tamales on the planet. She's my tamale lady and is cute as a kitten. She has a careful smile and flashes her big, searching brown eyes. Sometimes she even throws out a little pout in with a concerned look and becomes the prettiest girl in the world.
mi mejor enemigo
my close friend is in bolivia. fighting an insurgency. or filming it. same thing i guess.
he called tonight. he's in the field, commanding his soldiers/film crew. sleeping on the ground. eating canned fish and english biscuits. a big spider crawled into the tent as we spoke. he killed it with his boot. he is a world away. and they are shooting at him.
he called tonight. he's in the field, commanding his soldiers/film crew. sleeping on the ground. eating canned fish and english biscuits. a big spider crawled into the tent as we spoke. he killed it with his boot. he is a world away. and they are shooting at him.
5.09.2009
not bad oranges
Hashed it out with fellow founding member 'Porkchop' Pat via cell from the back porch of the Penny last night and it looks like this summer's Not Bad Oranges tour is on. Just gotta line up Clem. He's the glue that has kept the candle burning. Like that last sentence, he's a mixed metaphor. Being from Long Island he's sort of NBO's Jim Carroll. But, he named the band so he's due his props.
So this was how it came about. It was one hot afternoon in Minneapolis. Lower duplex at 2609 Columbus in the heart of the south Minneapolis ghetto and Clem's eating oranges that he claimed were 'not bad'. And he said, as he ate his third, 'these are not bad oranges'. Thoroughly stoned to begin with, we immediately formed a rock band. The rest is history. Sort of, anyway. None of us remember the early gigs. Just the giggles.
NBO rocks!
Tour Info:
June 12 - Interior, SD (Sharon's Driveway).
June 13 - Wall, SD (Badlands Bar). Free pizza to first six ladies.
June 14 - Wall, SD (Cactus Bar - basement).
June 15 - Creighton, SD (Randy Clark's Tool Shop).
June 15 - Creighton, SD (After party in Jim Eisenbraun's cow barn).
June 16 - Rapid City, SD (John Tyrell's house in north Rapid).
June 18 - Gillette, WY (Randy and Lisa's back yard).
June 19 - Valentine, NE (Fulton Ranch Rodeo).
June 29 - Whiskey, Los Angeles CA. (With Exene Cervenka and John Doe).
June 30 - San Pedro, CA (With Mike Watt).
July 4 - Huntington Beach, CA (With Alien Sex Fiend).
August 8 - King's Park Long Island, NY (With Ryan Adams and the Cardinals).
August 13 - Kannapolis, NC (Unplugged).
September 7 - Duluth, MN (Some coffee shop with Charlie Parr).
September 8 - Superior, WI (Kerosene Bar). Free beer.
September 10 - MN State Fair Fried Cheese Curd Booth (Unplugged).
September 14 - Appleton, MN Apple Fest (Unplugged).
November 6-17 - Fargo and Grand Forks, ND (Fall Eel Pout Festival).
November 19 - Tempe, AZ (HOME AT LAST - Library Bar on Mill Street). Free fish-net stockings for the chicks with the shortest skirts, longest legs and rattiest dreads(3 pairs per participant).
November 20 - Tempe AZ (Cheba Hut on University - go with a pinner, the blunts are huge).
More dates to be announced later.
NBO. Come see us. Drive your life in circles. Circles of joy!
So this was how it came about. It was one hot afternoon in Minneapolis. Lower duplex at 2609 Columbus in the heart of the south Minneapolis ghetto and Clem's eating oranges that he claimed were 'not bad'. And he said, as he ate his third, 'these are not bad oranges'. Thoroughly stoned to begin with, we immediately formed a rock band. The rest is history. Sort of, anyway. None of us remember the early gigs. Just the giggles.
NBO rocks!
Tour Info:
June 12 - Interior, SD (Sharon's Driveway).
June 13 - Wall, SD (Badlands Bar). Free pizza to first six ladies.
June 14 - Wall, SD (Cactus Bar - basement).
June 15 - Creighton, SD (Randy Clark's Tool Shop).
June 15 - Creighton, SD (After party in Jim Eisenbraun's cow barn).
June 16 - Rapid City, SD (John Tyrell's house in north Rapid).
June 18 - Gillette, WY (Randy and Lisa's back yard).
June 19 - Valentine, NE (Fulton Ranch Rodeo).
June 29 - Whiskey, Los Angeles CA. (With Exene Cervenka and John Doe).
June 30 - San Pedro, CA (With Mike Watt).
July 4 - Huntington Beach, CA (With Alien Sex Fiend).
August 8 - King's Park Long Island, NY (With Ryan Adams and the Cardinals).
August 13 - Kannapolis, NC (Unplugged).
September 7 - Duluth, MN (Some coffee shop with Charlie Parr).
September 8 - Superior, WI (Kerosene Bar). Free beer.
September 10 - MN State Fair Fried Cheese Curd Booth (Unplugged).
September 14 - Appleton, MN Apple Fest (Unplugged).
November 6-17 - Fargo and Grand Forks, ND (Fall Eel Pout Festival).
November 19 - Tempe, AZ (HOME AT LAST - Library Bar on Mill Street). Free fish-net stockings for the chicks with the shortest skirts, longest legs and rattiest dreads(3 pairs per participant).
November 20 - Tempe AZ (Cheba Hut on University - go with a pinner, the blunts are huge).
More dates to be announced later.
NBO. Come see us. Drive your life in circles. Circles of joy!
can you believe it
I met this lovely young lady last night at the Copper Penny in downtown Gilbert. I'd seen her before at the Liberty Market and behind the counter at Joe's Real BBQ which is kitty korner across Gilbert Road, but it wasn't until tonight when I saw her again and she smiled at me and said "hi, that chair next to me is empty". I lost contact with reality momentarily and just barely managed to say hi right back. And then, of course I took the empty chair.
Her name is Barbara Anne Hall. Originally from Sioux Falls, SD. Was a Chi Omega at the same time I was a Teke (Theta Eta 286). So, unlikely though it seems, USD frat boy meets USD sorority girl a million miles away.
We closed the Penny and spent the rest of the night down by the canal. To me, she looks just like a young Doris Day. Or just the prettiest girl, ever.
5.07.2009
the night the grain elevator burnt down
i was at scott's house. there was a a big boom and a flash. sirens. a huge fire. the grain elevator was on fire. we ran over to look and watch.
jerry morgan pulled up in his pontiac firebird. fleetwood mac, go your own way. loud. on the car stereo. elevator burned. we watched, mesmerized by the fire.
after awhile, it collapsed.
so did i, elated by what i'd seen.
jerry morgan pulled up in his pontiac firebird. fleetwood mac, go your own way. loud. on the car stereo. elevator burned. we watched, mesmerized by the fire.
after awhile, it collapsed.
so did i, elated by what i'd seen.
5.06.2009
big steve
We didn't get too scared when Big Steve waved a crooked stick and brandished a pocket full of rusty nails at us down by the sale barn. We just scattered, left and right. The cowboys on horseback running the cattle in would step on it to calm him down and Steve would break down and cry. We'd laugh, but we weren't sure we should. Big Steve was OK most of the time. Crying concerned us. He was the crazy guy that chased us through the goat pens and out across the field towards Dart's Dam. And back again. We didn't like it when he cried.
Big Steve was a Vietnam veteran and his time in Vietnam broke his brain, body and spirit. He walked around town with a thick leather belt on his head. Not on his forehead but underneath his chin and over. So adorned, he wandered. In and out of here and there. He ate for free but no one knew where he went at night. He was good at disappearing.
One night while walking home from work, I passed by the sale barn and ran into Big Steve on the old dirt road next to the Fire Department. He was bedding down in the ditch by the old Fisher Implement shop (next to the old laundromat). He had a boom box with Cheap Trick's 'Surrender' playing very loud. As I sat there with him and his boom box, Big Steve began to evaporate. Somehow he lost his gravitational relationship with the ditch and began a molecular disintegration. I was fascinated and compelled.
He hasn't been seen since.
Big Steve was a Vietnam veteran and his time in Vietnam broke his brain, body and spirit. He walked around town with a thick leather belt on his head. Not on his forehead but underneath his chin and over. So adorned, he wandered. In and out of here and there. He ate for free but no one knew where he went at night. He was good at disappearing.
One night while walking home from work, I passed by the sale barn and ran into Big Steve on the old dirt road next to the Fire Department. He was bedding down in the ditch by the old Fisher Implement shop (next to the old laundromat). He had a boom box with Cheap Trick's 'Surrender' playing very loud. As I sat there with him and his boom box, Big Steve began to evaporate. Somehow he lost his gravitational relationship with the ditch and began a molecular disintegration. I was fascinated and compelled.
He hasn't been seen since.
5.05.2009
dear john
Well when I woke up this mornin',
There was a note upon my door,
Said don't make me no coffee Babe,
'cause I won't be back no more,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Now Jonah got along in the belly of the whale,
Daniel in the lion's den,
But I know a guy that didn't try to get along,
And he won't get a chance again,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've fetched your saddle home.
Well she didn't forward no address,
Nor she didn't say goodbye,
All she said was if you get blue,
Just hang your little head and cry,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Now my gal's short and stubby,
She's strong as she can be,
But if that little old gal of mine,
Ever get's a-hold of me,
That's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Now Jonah got along in the belly of the whale,
Daniel in the lion's den,
But I know a man that didn't try to get along,
And he won't get a chance again,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've fetched your saddle home.
Now I went down to the bank this morning,
The cashier said with a grin,
I feel so sorry for you Hank,
But your wife has done been in,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Hank Williams
There was a note upon my door,
Said don't make me no coffee Babe,
'cause I won't be back no more,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Now Jonah got along in the belly of the whale,
Daniel in the lion's den,
But I know a guy that didn't try to get along,
And he won't get a chance again,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've fetched your saddle home.
Well she didn't forward no address,
Nor she didn't say goodbye,
All she said was if you get blue,
Just hang your little head and cry,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Now my gal's short and stubby,
She's strong as she can be,
But if that little old gal of mine,
Ever get's a-hold of me,
That's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Now Jonah got along in the belly of the whale,
Daniel in the lion's den,
But I know a man that didn't try to get along,
And he won't get a chance again,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've fetched your saddle home.
Now I went down to the bank this morning,
The cashier said with a grin,
I feel so sorry for you Hank,
But your wife has done been in,
And that's all she wrote, Dear John,
I've sent your saddle home.
Hank Williams
kicking bear and shortbull
In the summer of 1890, Kicking Bear and Short Bull visited Wovoka in Utah. They became enraptured by his faith and even stated that Wovoka levitated through the air above them. Wovoka spoke of the Ghost Dance. Kicking Bear and Short Bull brought the Ghost Dance back to the Dakota reservations, but in a form which lead to totally unexpected results.
Wovoka's faith was based on non-violence. In fact, he even urged his followers not to tell the wasicu what they were doing. But as interpreted by Kicking Bear and Short Bull, the Ghost Dance took on a militaristic aspect. Special garments known as Ghost Shirts were to be worn to deflect bullets fired by soldiers or settlers. Government agents were permitted to witness the Ghost Dance ceremony and were told what it meant. Kicking Bear and Short Bull assured the Lakota that the Indian Messiah would appear to them in the Spring of 1891.
All activities at the reservation were put aside, government agents and settlers were terrified by this sudden and (to them) bizarre turn of events. Newspapers spread stories of savage Indians in wild pagan practices. Tensions became overpowering in the region as the Lakota people gave all their waking hours to the Ghost Dance.
Blame for the Ghost Dance was placed on two people. Wovoka was traced as the father of the Ghost Dance and was interviewed by James Mooney, an ethnologist and anthropologist with the Smithsonian Institute. Wovoka passed a message to Mooney that he would control any militaristic uprising among the Native peoples in return for financial and food compensation from Washington. The offer was ignored. Blame was also put on Lakota elder and statesman, Sitting Bull. Ironically, Sitting Bull was apathetic to the Ghost Dance and only allowed its introduction with great caution. His initial fears were realized: government agents considered Sitting Bull responsible due to his leadership role among the Lakota. Tribal police were dispatched to arrest him, but his apprehension resulted in conflict when several Lakota fought to protect him. Sitting Bull was killed in the crossfire between supporters and Lakota tribal police on December 15, 1890.
Fourteen days after Sitting Bull's fatal shooting, the U.S. Army sought to relocate and disarm the Lakota people, who failed to stop their Ghost Dance. Big Foot took his band of three hundred from the Cheyenne River Reservation and fled south through the Badlands, eluding a reformed 7th Cavalry. On the frozen plains at Wounded Knee on the Pine Ridge Reservation, government troops opened fire on the overwhelmingly unarmed Lakota people with Hotchkiss gatling guns, forcing the killing field survivors into the deep gullies where they were hunted and massacred by 7th Cal horsemen. At least 290 souls were lost. Many lie in the original trench dug for their disposal, a heartless display of American Indian policy in the waning days of the century. Thirty-three soldiers died, most from friendly fire; 20 Medals of Honor were presented to surviving soldiers.
As news of Wounded Knee spread throughout the Native nations, the Ghost Dance died quickly. Wovoka's prophecies were seen as hollow; the land would not be returned through divine intervention. With the same suddenness of its birth, the Ghost Dance disappeared.
Wovoka himself virtually vanished into obscurity. In his later years, he exhibited himself at sideshows in county fairs and worked as an extra in silent movie Westerns. (The one surviving photograph of Wovoka was taken on the set of a film.) By the time of his death on September 20, 1932, he was virtually forgotten by both white and Native peoples. It would not be until the 1970s and the birth of Native American activism that the story of the Ghost Dance was told again.
The tragedy of Wovoka is a legacy of pain and suffering among the very people he wanted to save. The songs of the Ghost Dance are silent today and the dream of Wovoka vanished. The Christian principles which he laced into his theology were ignored by the soldiers and settlers who held allegiance to Christ and yet destroyed the Native way of life with a brutality unknown in the Gospel teachings.
This, then, is not the tale of a great hunter or of a great warrior, or of a great traveler, although I have made much meat in my time and fought for my people both as boy and man, and have gone far and seen strange lands and men. So also have many others done, and better than I. These things I shall remember by the way, and often they may seem to be the very tale itself, as when I was living them in happiness and sorrow. But now that I can see it all as from a lonely hilltop, I know it was the story of a mighty vision given to a man too weak to use it; of a holy tree that should have flourished in a people's heart with flowers and singing birds, and now is withered; and of a people's dream that died in bloody snow. Ben Black Elk
5.01.2009
cleaning the pool
The pool expert is back tonight. The pool murk remains unresolved despite our best efforts. A disturbing development has been the arrival of a hoard of poisonous desert toads who now ring the pool like funky gargoyles in the early evening and throughout the night and make a raucous noise akin to a threatened rabbit. Eerie and piercing. Caspar and Willie are on lock down which is good in any event because the backyard neighbor told me if our cats climbed the wall into his yard again, he'd trap them and feed each a toad. I decided to help him in his endeavor. I've been catching the toads with the pool net and heaving them over the wall into his backyard. If I should drop off line for a few days it's probably because I've been arrested for toad launching, a serious offense here in Phoenix. Wish me luck as I deliver the toads via air to their new digs in the hater's backyard.
4.30.2009
swinging party down the line
that's all one can hope for these days. the swine flu (God forbid we should rile the pork producers and actually they're right - this is a human virus now, leave pork out of it), but people are dying. doesn't something similar happen every flu season? when i get the flu i don't even go to my doctor unless i need a refill on the percodan (not). i'm thinking i'll play this one out, avoid the hype. lay low. stay easy. and look for a swinging party down the line.
4.24.2009
be real
obama didn't create this mess. eight years of cowboy bush did. if you aren't clued into that basic fact then move to crawford TX. you'll be about as welcome there as you would be here. feel free to practice your irrelevant intolerance since you no longer live in the world but in your tiny little compound surrounded by fences and gates. good thing you have a pool. you'll need it when iran and korea launch. as if. grow up.
4.23.2009
hard to break
just like any crawford i've ever known, ol' robert can't be whipped by one, two or three or even four. the old boys behind main st. in wall tried but couldn't move that gang out of place. now he's been told he's whipped but you and i, and we, know better. and now that he's got that brand new four barrel carburetor, i suspect he'll make more trouble than he did before. if that's actually possible.
4.17.2009
my cat did some meth or something
I think Willie did some meth or coke tonite. He came back in from outside, tipped over my beer and immediately hit the iPod speaker dock and navigated to the Killers and then the Fray using the old touch wheel. I was impressed with his ability and choice until he went at clawing my leather man-recliner, or tried to before I cuffed him hard. Then I grabbed him to check whether he was was on drugs and he shot out of my hand like a bolt of lightening and right into the glass patio door. BOINK. SPLAT. Rargh, spasm, mee-ouch. As he lay twitching on the Spanish tile gasping for air, I approached with great caution because he's tricked me before into buying him Fancy Feast (the little tweaker). But, before I got to him, the ceiling cat, the evil all-white Caspar came in. He's her cat and he's a bastard. He watches me when she's away. Maybe or perhaps very likely he's not ceiling cat but actually a demon.
On his demonic entrance, Willie came to life and rose up and got Masonic (Willie's Fifth Degree Mason) on Caspar's ass. During a 30 second crazed sword-fight frenzy, they damn near knocked my 42" plasma off the wall. I swear I saw them run up a wall, across the ceiling and tip over a forty pound clay cactus planter during a very entertaining scuffle. Willie is cleaning his paws right now and Caspar ain't quite as white as he was before he annoyed Willie. Some of you might know or remember Willie has Pueblo, CO hobo-camp experience. You don't mess with hobos or their cats. We all know that. I think. Oh yeah and I forgot to mention that Willie trains at the Gilbert County Island Flood Irrigation Ninja Prefectory for Cats. So he did have an advantage over Caspar. Plus, Caspar's a pussy.
On his demonic entrance, Willie came to life and rose up and got Masonic (Willie's Fifth Degree Mason) on Caspar's ass. During a 30 second crazed sword-fight frenzy, they damn near knocked my 42" plasma off the wall. I swear I saw them run up a wall, across the ceiling and tip over a forty pound clay cactus planter during a very entertaining scuffle. Willie is cleaning his paws right now and Caspar ain't quite as white as he was before he annoyed Willie. Some of you might know or remember Willie has Pueblo, CO hobo-camp experience. You don't mess with hobos or their cats. We all know that. I think. Oh yeah and I forgot to mention that Willie trains at the Gilbert County Island Flood Irrigation Ninja Prefectory for Cats. So he did have an advantage over Caspar. Plus, Caspar's a pussy.
4.15.2009
TeevBow Update
we're just upgrading our marketing from Teever-Bowman to TeevBow for president, 2012. Or earlier if need arises. We are working on a platform but our initial access to platform grade plywood was limited. Notwithstanding our campaign team risking it's life for 2x4's and cinder blocks and concrete at the abandoned housing development in north Rapid, we'll push through.
at a limpin' run
how to get motivated these days besides just hangin' on and driving a used saturn with a buck 30 on it?
any ideas? anyone? i been at a limpin' run since my leg almost bugged off last year. on it's own accord.
the highlight of my day today was explaining the NFPA to an Operations Manager, explaining to another how to buy a forklift battery using a phone and/or the internet and downloading Pandora to my crackberry.
i'm sure i must be some poor somebody's hero, but of course i'd rather not be. i am too good at lazy. if anyone's looking for that, call. i'll make some chili. bring beer.
any ideas? anyone? i been at a limpin' run since my leg almost bugged off last year. on it's own accord.
the highlight of my day today was explaining the NFPA to an Operations Manager, explaining to another how to buy a forklift battery using a phone and/or the internet and downloading Pandora to my crackberry.
i'm sure i must be some poor somebody's hero, but of course i'd rather not be. i am too good at lazy. if anyone's looking for that, call. i'll make some chili. bring beer.
4.12.2009
the copper penny
i was let out of the house by the person in charge so i hopped in my truck and headed to 'downtown' gilbert with my sights set on the copper penny. a fine, historical establishment with pool and darts and wackos and normals. my perfect element, exactly. i will definitely be going back after having made sure the bouncer (dave) and the bartenders (lindsey and kim) know my name. from the hit on my AMEX gold, i'm sure they will.
anyway, i met a strung out meth head with bad breath, a girl with barely concealed boobs so big i couldn't stop looking and a few really cool folks, but i'm home now and someone is gonna be mad when i crawl in. could be me and the cat on the couch tonite.
Update: The couch it is. With the cat. At least he understands my wandering. It's not like I was the one that pooped in her shoe. Probably her cat that did that. He's trying to drive a wedge, I think. Jealous little fink.
anyway, i met a strung out meth head with bad breath, a girl with barely concealed boobs so big i couldn't stop looking and a few really cool folks, but i'm home now and someone is gonna be mad when i crawl in. could be me and the cat on the couch tonite.
Update: The couch it is. With the cat. At least he understands my wandering. It's not like I was the one that pooped in her shoe. Probably her cat that did that. He's trying to drive a wedge, I think. Jealous little fink.
4.11.2009
rain
i hope it rains tomorrow so i can stay inside and watch the masters and snack on the homemade tamales i bought for a buck apiece - two beef, two pork, two pollo. all for six bucks.
the lady at the circle k sells them for extra cash from the back room. she and her sister make them. they're awesome and so long as i don't get the ptomaine, i'll keep buying them. really, they're awesome and now i have a real homemade tamale source. i'll be on the look out for some excellent chorizo next. it has to be fresh. made on site. and when they give you your change, they'll do it in spanish.
the lady at the circle k sells them for extra cash from the back room. she and her sister make them. they're awesome and so long as i don't get the ptomaine, i'll keep buying them. really, they're awesome and now i have a real homemade tamale source. i'll be on the look out for some excellent chorizo next. it has to be fresh. made on site. and when they give you your change, they'll do it in spanish.
4.10.2009
473 million
is the amount of money spent on and by the beer industry in sodak in 2008. about a million of that comes from people i know. they also buy trucks, guns and attend bonfire keggers. sometimes they fight, but that doesn't stop the flow of beer. it's a commodity. never to be criminalized. it's part of the holy trinity of weed, pizza and beer. and cable. i added that to the trinity. and music. and BBQ. and driving down a dirt road with a great friend listening to the jim carroll band while chasing a herd of cows. my friend assures me he can jump from the window onto the the back of one of these cows ...
he positions himself accordingly but no dice, the cows fan out. i can't get him close enough
he gets back in and we replay JC's perfect gravity
he positions himself accordingly but no dice, the cows fan out. i can't get him close enough
he gets back in and we replay JC's perfect gravity
4.08.2009
my new pool
i love this pool. small but with a rock waterfall that lights up at night. it's like staying at a miniature sheraton.
it was 92 today in phoenix. the pool was as cold as ... well not as cold as hell, but not like south dakota either. a hot-cold gig is rejuvenating. it's just cold up there now.
but i don't live in SoDak anymore, i live in the valley of the sun, so tomorrow morning i'm gonna toast a couple of eggo waffles, slather 'em with a bit of salted, sweet cream butter, douse 'em with the chokecherry syrup that i got from my 2012 pres-campaign runnin' mate and bestest girlfriend Pat B, and chomp beside the pool. i'll be grinnin' the whole time. because as country dick sang, i'm a happy boy.
hasta manyana
PS: Pat, you are a sweetheart; this syrup is awesome!
it was 92 today in phoenix. the pool was as cold as ... well not as cold as hell, but not like south dakota either. a hot-cold gig is rejuvenating. it's just cold up there now.
but i don't live in SoDak anymore, i live in the valley of the sun, so tomorrow morning i'm gonna toast a couple of eggo waffles, slather 'em with a bit of salted, sweet cream butter, douse 'em with the chokecherry syrup that i got from my 2012 pres-campaign runnin' mate and bestest girlfriend Pat B, and chomp beside the pool. i'll be grinnin' the whole time. because as country dick sang, i'm a happy boy.
hasta manyana
PS: Pat, you are a sweetheart; this syrup is awesome!
4.05.2009
hound dog taylor and the houserockers
just when i thought i was living in the perfect paradise, it got better. ole hound dog set up his kit in the backyard. so i'm gettin' some ribs prepped for the grill. gonna adorn them with some north carolina pig perfector, bone suckin' sauce it's a gol' dang hootenanny! just wish ole' festus could be here (RIP Mr. Parker) and of course, you're invited too
happy easter
is it next week? cripes i don't keep track. a holiday? not for me now and never really was. a weird space in time built around rabbits and hard-boiled eggs. the fact that they got this spruce goose to fly is 89% of its cachet. of course there are peeps (gag) and chocolate rabbits but i grew up poor so my rabbit was always hollow.
it took me awhile to figure out the good friday mystery of forehead dust. i thought maybe they just finished reading the new york times and inadvertently touched their forehead. you know, the ink dust. i'm glad i don't practice a face painting religion. it saves time. i don't have to explain the smudge. but hey, you catholics go ahead. rock on.
it took me awhile to figure out the good friday mystery of forehead dust. i thought maybe they just finished reading the new york times and inadvertently touched their forehead. you know, the ink dust. i'm glad i don't practice a face painting religion. it saves time. i don't have to explain the smudge. but hey, you catholics go ahead. rock on.
digging tamara
i met tamara last night at the spurr lounge in laveen. unfortunately on probably my last night there because i'm moving back to the east valley and about 40 miles away. bummer? the spurr is the best cowboy/indian bar i've found in this otherwise chain-sports-bar wasteland. people remember you there. i get my bottle of bud with a frosted mug. it's not advertised. i asked sammy, the bartender, why not, and she said we quit offering it but we know you like 'em so we keep a few in the freezer for you. dang - how can times be so tough when you have friends like these?
anyway, tamara was a young pretty little thing that pulled up on the stool next to me when others more distant were available and immediately engaged me in conversation. i couldn't figure out whether she was asian, latino or otherwise so i went out on a limb and simply asked her. turn's out she's navaho. i told her if i ever bought a kachina doll, i would want it to look just like her.
i'd forgotten that kachina's were hopi but she still thought it was sweet. i hope she gets everything she wants in life. she ought to.
anyway, tamara was a young pretty little thing that pulled up on the stool next to me when others more distant were available and immediately engaged me in conversation. i couldn't figure out whether she was asian, latino or otherwise so i went out on a limb and simply asked her. turn's out she's navaho. i told her if i ever bought a kachina doll, i would want it to look just like her.
i'd forgotten that kachina's were hopi but she still thought it was sweet. i hope she gets everything she wants in life. she ought to.
4.04.2009
i can't find arlys klundt on facebook
after a great deal of very little or maybe even no effort, i still can't find arlys klundt on facebook. he is apparently not one of the estimated 200 million users. i did speak to his father lyle, currently employed as a janitor at the school in kadoka. he gave me some news and assured me that arlys was alive and well but that he could provide no further information, national security or something.
i met with some teever ops guys (yeah, i hire spec-ops guys in situations like this). they surveilled lyle for some time but no evidence of arlys or his whereabouts ever surfaced. he's like a ghost or a ninja.
but my spec-ops guys did get the skinny - arlys sells frozen pizza for a distributor in south korea for a Brazilian pizza company operating out of las vegas, nevada. my guys (spec-ops), have confirmed. i'm going to korea next week to try to bring him back. lyle thinks he's gone native. i'll hook up with my SEAL contacts and get him home. bet on it.
i met with some teever ops guys (yeah, i hire spec-ops guys in situations like this). they surveilled lyle for some time but no evidence of arlys or his whereabouts ever surfaced. he's like a ghost or a ninja.
but my spec-ops guys did get the skinny - arlys sells frozen pizza for a distributor in south korea for a Brazilian pizza company operating out of las vegas, nevada. my guys (spec-ops), have confirmed. i'm going to korea next week to try to bring him back. lyle thinks he's gone native. i'll hook up with my SEAL contacts and get him home. bet on it.
i ain't a cowboy, but i know a few
marty, darty, lee, scott (even though he defected to north dakota), grant (they had the bucking barrel - that was a collarbone breaker). joe dubya who's prca on broncs right now. that temple SOB who rode bulls, I don't remember how he died. probably a car accident. somebody comment and fill me in.
it was great to grow up in a town that had a place called the 'rodeo grounds'. horses and bulls, a few calves for the ropers and steers for the boys. loose meat sandwiches and beer. beat the shit out of luchenbach, tx, didn't it?
PS: we used to sneak up under the bleachers and steal the old cow hands' beer and hats, the beer is gone but i still have the hat
it was great to grow up in a town that had a place called the 'rodeo grounds'. horses and bulls, a few calves for the ropers and steers for the boys. loose meat sandwiches and beer. beat the shit out of luchenbach, tx, didn't it?
PS: we used to sneak up under the bleachers and steal the old cow hands' beer and hats, the beer is gone but i still have the hat
4.02.2009
the moonie is on a bender
or some kind of weird downward spiral. i asked if i could speak with her regarding administrative matters - she said, "no, i have to get up at 1 AM, i really can't talk". WTF. she works for a mortgage broker? at 1 AM? am i reliving the song Jane Says by Jane's Addiction? is the broker pimping her? i doubt it because she ain't all that healthy lookin', but i'll delve no further - though i wonder if that shopping cart down by the mailboxes is her new home
sad times
sad times
4.01.2009
making friends
years ago in minneapolis my sister in law brought her mother (who I knew) and her new husband (who I did not know) to the family workplace (beautiful bambino children's clothing). I was VP of Production which meant I channeled the work flow and actually acted as the head cutter and pattern layout guy. well, in-law step-dude shows up and he's kind of identified as an asshole so they say go hang with the teever, he's cool and can show you how we run this show. he does. we discuss tools and boats. i show him how to safely use a reciprocating straight knife. turns out, he's not an asshole. he's ok. but sucks with the knife. can't keep a line. he could never cut velvet.
later, i get a report back, step-dad says to sister i law's mom who reports back to me that he said, 'I like that guy, he knows how to make friends'.
One of the best compliments I've ever received.
later, i get a report back, step-dad says to sister i law's mom who reports back to me that he said, 'I like that guy, he knows how to make friends'.
One of the best compliments I've ever received.
teever/bowman push G20 for more global warming
the teever/bowman political alliance is taking on this rash of global cooling and rampant snowstorms by pushing a global warming agenda at the G20 conference in europe. while attracting little support for their ambitious agenda, they were seen eating strawberry crepes with thick, farm-fresh cream at a small cafe near the louvre. pat was resplendant in feathered carapace while teever donned a cotton, black and white striped shirt and leather beret. it was rumored that later they would be attending an absinthe tasting affair at the botanical gardens near le gare sud'est. before we could confirm, they bought a baguette, some jam, a bit of butter and a servicible knife and sped off on a Vespa.
3.29.2009
dude, WTF is jasmine
on the label of a California Riesling i read, 'notes of white peach, jasmine and pear' WTF is jasmine? jasmine has a flavor? who eats jasmine? where does it come from?
adventure
I embarked on a Spurr adventure yesterday evening and had the pleasure of encountering my good friend Alex and his partner in crime, Maureen. Tanya and Tina were running the bar and Chris was handling the karaoke duties. I like karaoke. I like the car-accident, train wreck aspect of it. You don't want to listen or watch but you have to. It's compelling.
First up is Bill. He's a tone-deaf monotone. He starts singing some old 70's song and I gratuitously howl like an injured dog. His friends laugh. He laughs. When he's done. I point at him and I say, that was fantastic. You are my new hero. And he agreed. So now he is officially my new hero.
Then came the short girl with glasses, Gene Simmons (KISS) hair and no chin. No chin at all, straight to neck. She sang a very obscure song very badly. I think it was Helen Reddy. My previous dog-howling was Godlike in comparison. Plus, as mentioned, glasses no chin and bad Gene Simmons (KISS) hair.
I leaned over to Alex, who is a very accomplished vocalist, and mentioned, 'she totally fails'. He agreed with the obvious as her piercing (like a hound dog wearing a shock collar) emissions continued. But I really sealed my fate when she sat back down and after I glimpsed again her face and future, turned to Alex and said, 'Jeez, she can't sing and she's only gonna' get uglier, that's unfortunate'. I believe Alex aspirated some Tecate. Maureen punched me.
Thanks for reading. I'm off to Hell now. They're waiting for me.
First up is Bill. He's a tone-deaf monotone. He starts singing some old 70's song and I gratuitously howl like an injured dog. His friends laugh. He laughs. When he's done. I point at him and I say, that was fantastic. You are my new hero. And he agreed. So now he is officially my new hero.
Then came the short girl with glasses, Gene Simmons (KISS) hair and no chin. No chin at all, straight to neck. She sang a very obscure song very badly. I think it was Helen Reddy. My previous dog-howling was Godlike in comparison. Plus, as mentioned, glasses no chin and bad Gene Simmons (KISS) hair.
I leaned over to Alex, who is a very accomplished vocalist, and mentioned, 'she totally fails'. He agreed with the obvious as her piercing (like a hound dog wearing a shock collar) emissions continued. But I really sealed my fate when she sat back down and after I glimpsed again her face and future, turned to Alex and said, 'Jeez, she can't sing and she's only gonna' get uglier, that's unfortunate'. I believe Alex aspirated some Tecate. Maureen punched me.
Thanks for reading. I'm off to Hell now. They're waiting for me.
3.22.2009
baby sasquatch
I was taking Colleen home after karaoke night at the Spurr Lounge because she works tomorrow (home health care) and as I pulled up to her place, this little bugger popped out of the bushes and bolted down the street in front of me. Short guy, stocky, kind of bandy-legged. At the moment, I thought I'd either seen a baby Sasquatch in human clothes or a Mexican shape-shifting chupacabra. I gave Colleen a big distracted smooch, shoved her out the door and checked my Ruger single action and went into full-pursuit mode. I needed to know whether it was a stinky bud hallucination from the KGB I got from the dude in the parking lot at the bar or whether I had actually seen a mythical creature. If I could catch it and keep it alive for awhile, I could surely earn some TMZ cash.
Turns out, it was just a midget. A hobo midget.
I caught up with him in the park by the monkey bars. My stride gave me an advantage. Though he could scurry, I could run. And he stopped at the first shot I fired at him. He was drunk but because he was built so low to the ground, he didn't sway or stagger. He said his name was Bill. He offered up a flask. It was 12 year old MacAllen.
I said Bill, why were you in the bushes outside my girlfriend's house and he said, and I quote, "I was counting."
Counting what, I asked.
"Leaves. I'm from Omaha. They have trees and there we spend the better part of any given year counting the leaves. Like a census."
I left it that because I was flummoxed and baffled. So Bill and I finished off the flask and about three-teen beers each. Then I took Bill down to the hobo camp under the I-10 mini-stack. Gave him a loaf of Circle K bread and some onion rings and he scurried into the bushes.
As he fled, he yelled "there's too much company, Connor Oberst was right". Huh?
Now I'm conflicted, do I tell Colleen about the midget or do I find a new weed dealer who doesn't lace his product with fairy dust.
Turns out, it was just a midget. A hobo midget.
I caught up with him in the park by the monkey bars. My stride gave me an advantage. Though he could scurry, I could run. And he stopped at the first shot I fired at him. He was drunk but because he was built so low to the ground, he didn't sway or stagger. He said his name was Bill. He offered up a flask. It was 12 year old MacAllen.
I said Bill, why were you in the bushes outside my girlfriend's house and he said, and I quote, "I was counting."
Counting what, I asked.
"Leaves. I'm from Omaha. They have trees and there we spend the better part of any given year counting the leaves. Like a census."
I left it that because I was flummoxed and baffled. So Bill and I finished off the flask and about three-teen beers each. Then I took Bill down to the hobo camp under the I-10 mini-stack. Gave him a loaf of Circle K bread and some onion rings and he scurried into the bushes.
As he fled, he yelled "there's too much company, Connor Oberst was right". Huh?
Now I'm conflicted, do I tell Colleen about the midget or do I find a new weed dealer who doesn't lace his product with fairy dust.
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