10.31.2006

stuart

"He was exactly five feet six inches in height, and six feet five inches in circumference. His head was a
perfect sphere, and of such stupendous dimensions, that dame Nature, with all her sex's ingenuity, would have been puzzled to construct a neck capable of supporting it; wherefore she wisely declined the attempt, and settled it firmly on the top of his back bone, just between the shoulders. His body was oblong, and particularly capacious at bottom; which was wisely ordered by Providence, seeing that he was a man of sedentary habits, and very averse to the idle labor of walking. His legs were very short, but sturdy in proportion to the weight they had to sustain: so that, when erect, he had not a little the appearance of a beer barrel on skids. His face, that infallible index of the mind, presented a vast expanse, unfurrowed by any of those lines and angles which disfigure the human countenance with what is termed expression. Two small gray eyes twinkled feebly in the midst, like two stars of lesser magnitude in a hazy firmament; and his full-fed cheeks, which seemed to have taken toll of everything that went into his mouth, were curiously mottled and streaked with dusky red, like a Spitzenberg apple. His habits were as regular as his person. He daily took his four stated meals, appropriating exactly an hour to each; he smoked and doubted eight hours, and he slept the remaining twelve of the four-and-twenty."

10.30.2006

biscuits

Making biscuits three times a day.

Biscuits.
Remember fresh melted butter on a hot "Bisquick" biscuit.
I do.

We're coming up on two years now since Mom passed. She didn't make biscuits three times a day, but she made them often enough on cold fall nights. Sometimes with a beef short-rib stew over rice that I'd cut off my leg if I could get some today.

She was a real mom as most mom's are. Standing in the kitchen when she wasn't washing clothes or going off to work to get money to feed me, my brothers and sister.
Biscuits and cornbread and johnnycake. Chili, gumbo and Spanish rice. Pollywaddles, holup sea and great northerns with smoked hamhocks. Chef Boy-Ar-Dee pizza with added hamburger and pepperoni.
Sunday was best. On Saturday, Mom would set her self to baking. She was a baker at the top of the baker food chain. No one in the five state area could even qualify as a competitor. Across the street lived a Renner clan. Luckily some of the cleaner ones. Mother Renner tried to cook, and she tried very hard, but she still ate stewed cow brains for lunch and still couldn't microwave a potato. It never came out right. She preferred margarine to butter and Miracle Whip to mayonnaise. She won a valuable award when she successfully chilled an entire stalk of celery on ice in a cooler at Canyon Lake Park. Ouch.

But, Mom had to move on. She'd done all she could. Taught those that took to teaching. Gave books to the book-less and took care of six feral root-hogs in the meanwhile. And, every minute of every day, no matter how things were going, she always looked on the bright side of life. And now, I do too.

10.29.2006

daylight savings time

what a drag ...

10.27.2006

b's place

B's Place. Kandahar, Afghanistan.

Hootenanny is working on a big deal with a former SD boy to open a string of fast food joints in Afghanistan before the Taliban resume control in about a year or so. In the photo here, you see our man on the ground in Kandahar readying our initial marketing push. We'll be posting a menu in the near future, but since you can't get B's Place food in America (though we do have plans to move into northern Pakistan in late 2007 and Kashmir in 2008 if India lays off the nuclear threats), you probably don't care unless you like goat and mutton, rancid butter and Pepsi.
We are hiring! Your own vehicle and stinger missile ensemble preferred. Prospective applicants who bring a ball of black hash to the interview will receive fast track consideration.

10.26.2006

arizona amp and alternator


Here we go again, shilling for true artists. If you've heard of Howe Gelb, you might have heard of his new side project Arizona Amp And Alternator. A must have item. I met Howe in Minneapolis and he was very cordial. He had but two questions for me. "Where's that Thai restaurant that used to be on Nicollet? And "Where's the nearest liquor store?" Well, the King and I Thai had moved to Grant and LaSalle and the liquor store was right around the corner on 7th, a few blocks from where we stood.
As he ambled off into the cold, damp night, me and my buddies headed downstairs to the 7th Street Entry to see an old reunion show with Cop Shoot Cop and the Brian Jonestown Massacre. Cool, huh?

10.25.2006

borat

Hootenanny opposes the MPA and RIAA, thus we are making this movie available in four minutes snippets to avoid their cyberbots which search the internet and seek to destroy freedom of expression and, more importantly, piracy. Hell, we like pirates. Why would we want to put them out of business?

10.22.2006

feelings

new jersey's the feelies
what a great band

promotional address - badlands bar, wall, sd

darfur

WHATEVER YOU DID UNTO ONE OF THE LEAST,
YOU DID UNTO ME
kill the least
the poor
nobody is looking
nobody cares

Seems like a lot of people are dying in the deserts of Africa and the middle east. Hootenanny tries to stay out of it - the dialogue is shitty. Folks have strong points of view. But if you look at the picture you might realize that many are more likely to die or get killed than others.

So, to be blunt, from here on out, Hootnenanny is anti-war. Absolutely, all the time.

salt river


Love the sun. Love the heat.
The Salt River used to run free across the valley. It doesn't anymore. It sinks into the ground before it gets to Phoenix. What was once a river bed is now just a wash. A trash filled, pollution capture basin on the way to Sky Harbor. On in to Tempe and Tempe Town Lake. The ugliest fucking lake I have ever seen. It's a frickin' washbasin carved out under a series of high traffic and highway overpassses. Sweet.
But don't rely on me. Go check it out yourself.
My friends in Tempe will be mad. Don't mention that you know me.

strange and beautiful

This is a video from Connor Oberst of Bright Eyes a band from Omaha, NE. I thought it was gay at first (not that that would matter!), but towards the end I don't know. Much more importantly, it's a great video. Actual artisitic quality. Fuck!

10.21.2006

tribute to scott p

shooter and carter

The sons of Waylon Jennings team up to good effect.

10.20.2006

a tune for you

this is for my "niece"
a fellow blogger and all around cool chick
who appreciates cheese like this

jeepster jim (voted for g. bush)

i talked to jim the other day. morning actually. he was heading into town to buy a jeep which i believe is a foreign vehicle now. he was buying an older jeep. american made for about 400 bucks. shit, you can't get a good bag of weed for 400 bucks these days. just old penn county schwag.
jim will have his jeep. and t-rex will play jim's new theme song - just click on the right-pointing arrow but remember to vote democrat ... because that will piss jim (bush lover) off

jim i heard you dissed me to a close friend. are you running with stuart now? may i introduce you to charles daley the 12th. bugger off, fisheater.

10.18.2006

join the rebels


i hate this part of texas
furniture

MAYBE

maybe i shouldn't be so sarcastic
maybe i should just post a video
so here's toronto's broken social scene
i'll be there in january, montreal in march

10.16.2006

hunting with todd


We wanted to go hunting. We agreed on a time and day. I was awake and ready, Art and Casey showed up on time and Barry had a pot of coffee brewed up. As our appointed time of departure neared, we discussed birds, buzzworms and bag limits. Todd was running late. So while we waited we threw some beers in a cooler and debated leaving without him. But the delay resulting during the cooler stocking gave Todd just enough time to pull into Barry's driveway in Gilbert.
Todd was 15 minutes late. We mentioned that to him, subtly and with concern. See, we needed his Yukon to get to Queen Valley.
In five minutes we'd transferred all our gear into the Todd's Yukon. It took us a while to get out of town. New roads confuse Todd and Barry was worse than hired help when it came to directions. Art finally got us on track to Queen Valley and the state trust lands teeming with rocks, sand, eye-level cactus, mid-section cactus, thigh and lower leg cactus and of course, foot cactus. And damn few birds!
But since Todd is willing to risk his vehicle, we're willing to ride along.
We almost overdrive the QV exit. Then drive right into town. We go too far, then turn around to search the fenceline Todd and Barry remember from last year. Todd seems to have a clue, Barry is lost. We pull in anyway.
It's barren. It's rugged. We all jump out and start gearing up. Plans are discussed. This draw, that flat or down that dry creek bed. Water here, food there and cover in between. Is that gun plugged? No. It's not. What's the liabilty?
That day the birds flew well fast, fiesty and dodgy. They avoided lead like they figured they'd need to do to stay alive and escaped us the greater part of the time.
Todd did get a bird but I think he may have coaxed it's death rather than killed it outright. That or it was Casey's bird and Todd bogarted it. Two hours in and we had two. Two birds. Art got the other. As we circled back around to the truck for the second time, Barry remembered the beer and the hunting came to an abrupt end. It was, after all, nearly 10:30 AM at that point. Well into daylight and the hotter sun. Time when the snakes get hinky and move about with madness on their mind. Time to go.
Todd drove us all home after that. Taking the long way home, so to say. And even though he gave me the brochure, I don't think I'll buy the insurance. I'm pretty sure it's not bonded.

10.08.2006

hello columbus


10/9/06 christopher columbus day

see how many native americans you can talk to today
and extend a hand in thanks for the welcome you've received in their land
notwithstanding columbus and the others who came later
who were as much if not more destructive

look at a map today and read the names of states, counties and cities
ohio, indiana, michigan, kansas, oklahoma, iowa, wyoming, montana and the dakotas ...
mankato, owatonna, oacoma, tulsa ...
home to all of us

people have the right to fly
let's move it along

and forget columbus

it's not his day
it's ours

in the flat field

the original goths - bauhaus
peter murphy and daniel ash

10.05.2006

look listen

wounded knee

GALL


A lot of historians overlook this dude. He directed the battle - the Lakota and affiliates including the Southern Cheyenne that held Reno's first charge and pushed his men back up into the trees.
Where they stayed.
Until long after Custer made his fatal mistake. Looping in from the east. Thought he would head them off just like he used to do when he was killing reservation Indians in Kansas and Oklahoma.
As history tells us, he hit the middle of a camp full of human beings. Custer figured they'd run. HA
They didn't.

10.04.2006

man afraid of his horses


Gen. Crook, who lost the skirmish on the Rosebud, got a new commission after the Little Bighorn fight and chased American Horse and Man Afraid back towards the Red Cloud agency. There was a skirmish on the east side of Slim Buttes between Crook's troops and the people. I don't think things came out well for the people.

the world is neither fair nor unfair


But the Mandan Villages up river were tough.

columbus day - part one

About 100 years ago, Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce foresaw the result of the same brand of fundamentalist ass-holeism that is prevalent today and decided to cash out. It's a heartbreaker. We could learn something. This is the start of Hootenanny's coverage of Columbus Day 2006. We're going to continue to call it that because it brings the issue up front. Columbus didn't discover America, Big Bat Pourier did.
Anyway, here's one of the best oratories from a powerful person, Old Chief Joe as Marty and I used to refer to him ...


"Tell General Howard I know his heart. What he told me before, I have it in my heart. I am tired of fighting. Our chiefs are killed; Looking Glass is dead, Too-hul-hul-sote is dead. The old men are all dead. It is the young men who say yes or no. He who led on the young men is dead. It is cold, and we have no blankets; the little children are freezing to death. My people, some of them, have run away to the hills, and have no blankets, no food. No one knows where they are?perhaps freezing to death. I want to have time to look for my children, and see how many of them I can find. Maybe I shall find them among the dead. Hear me, my chiefs! I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever."

what are the odds that Fox "News" would lie?

In case you didn't know, Fox News referred to Congressman Mark Foley (R-FL a/k/a the page-molester) as a Democrat more than once recently when in fact he's never been anything other than a Republican page-molester. But hey, his party affiliation and weakness for pages is neither here nor there. For his problem, he needs help outside of politics.
But, jeez. What a screw up. The six-term Republican congressman has never been a Democrat. Wonder why they'd make that mistake.
That Fox News would "inadvertently" change his party affiliation during airings of the O'Reilly Factor is another thing altogether. Probably just a glitch. Ooops. They are, after all, the retarded right. Word is, many, many more are morally dyslexic. God's cruel answer to the Loopey Left.

10.03.2006

dick fucking cheney

10.01.2006

brambles