2.25.2008

blessed are the cheesemakers

Cheese is a food made from the milk of cows, goats, sheep and other mammals, by coagulating the milk. This is accomplished by first acidifying it with a bacterial culture and then employing the enzyme rennet (or rennet substitutes) to coagulate the milk to "curds and whey." The precise bacteria and processing of the curds play a role in defining the texture and flavor of most cheeses. Some cheeses also feature molds, either on the outer rind or throughout.
There are hundreds of types of cheese produced all over the world. Different styles and flavors of cheese are the result of using milk from various mammals or with different butterfat contents, employing particular species of bacteria and molds, and varying the length of aging and other processing treatments. Other factors include animal diet and the addition of flavoring agents such as herbs, spices, or wood smoke. Whether the milk is pasteurized may also affect the flavor. The yellow to red coloring of many cheeses is a result of adding annatto. Cheeses are eaten both on their own and cooked as part of various dishes; most cheeses melt when heated.
For a few cheeses, the milk is curdled by adding acids such as vinegar or lemon juice. Most cheeses, however, are acidified to a lesser degree by bacteria, which turn milk sugars into lactic acid, followed by the addition of rennet to complete the curdling. Rennet is an enzyme mixture traditionally obtained from the stomach lining of young cattle, but now also laboratory produced. Vegetarian alternatives to rennet are available; most are produced by fermentation of the fungus Mucor miehei, but others have been extracted from various species of the Cynara thistle family.
Cheese has served as a hedge against famine and is a good travel food. It is valuable for its portability, long life, and high content of fat, protein, calcium, and phosphorus. Cheese is a more compact form of nutrition and has a longer shelf life than the milk from which it is made. Cheesemakers can place themselves near the center of a dairy region and benefit from fresher milk, lower milk prices, and lower shipping costs. The substantial storage life of cheese lets a cheesemaker sell when prices are high or when money is needed.

2.17.2008

kurdistan workers party

You are invited. The Kurdistan Workers Party will be held this year at Champions Sports Bar (formerly the Copper Penny) in downtown Gilbert, Arizona. (We'll be in the left back bar area away from the TV's where the Gilbert Road and Boating Club will be gathering to watch the Daytona 500.) Show up early for the falafel and spanikopita. Grape leaves, plumb tomatoes, vinegar rice balls, pork and lamb souvlaki, broiled gyros meat and olives on Syrian soft flatbread will also be served. At 3:00 PM, we'll be holding the 'Tatziki Tasting' with prizes for best base yogurt (cow, oxen and sheep), garlic and cucumber. At 4:00 PM, we'll hold the the crowning event, Baklava and the Art of Phyllo. Last year's winner, Maria Rasz-Birkeryat, we'll return with her Sumerian Cottonseed Honey and Almond concoction.
This year's K.P.P. (Kurdistan Workers Party) holds great promise for the best Valley ethno-nationalistic diaspora party of the year. You'll have the opportunity to meet Sulman Bayekir, the former Mayor of Erzurum. Ali Farke Toure will be spinning the vinyl with his Indo-African beats from 1:00 PM until party's end. Belly dancing is encouraged and since the Renaissance Fair is in full swing down in Gold Canyon, a few may be in the area. We hope to see you there and, of course, bring almonds!

2.13.2008

pre-approved

I am pre-approved for an auto loan on a 2008 Toyota Tundra. It worked. I have an appointment for a test drive Friday. I particularly like the Double Cab with 5.7 Liter V8 (pictured above with optional fender-monkey). This is wrong, but after driving a Camry for a few months I feel like my testicles have lost weight and I'm sporting bigger man-boobs.
I need a gas-guzzling road giant to make things right again. It's like HGH for the man-guy in all of us.

2.11.2008

be prepared

Percy Morell Fenstrome was a Boy Scout Master of the highest order. Though relegated to the annals of history at an early age due to a malformation of the kidney, Percy commanded Troop 117, Bear Lodge Creek Chapter with a sharp wit and a strong boot. Canvas tents were kept immaculately clean, hatchet blades sharp and felt wool hats were blocked and pumiced nightly.
At 36, a galloping kidney got the best of Percy. A galloping kidney is a malformation of the kidney that is both rare and deadly. The galloping kidney moves about the lower peritoneal cavity with alacrity, engaging other organs in a a game of tag, so to speak. It is a genetic condition. It is not contagious but appears more frequently in native Malaysians and the Ghurkas of Istanbul, Turkey. There is no known cure.
Percy's kidney developed galloping tendencies around age 28 and by his early 30's, it had tagged nearly every other organ in Percy's abdominal cavity. Then, late one fall day in 1936, the kidney made an all out attempt to escape and began migrating upward through Percy's alimentary canal. Percy died three days later.
RIP Percy Morell Fenstrome.

2.10.2008

laughlin nevada

Gonna go to Laughlin. Gonna get on a ship. Gonna watch a wedding. Gonna party on the strip. It's gonna be a good time. Gonna be lots a fun. Gonna get a cheezburger. At the point of a gun.

Well that nonsense is about a trip to Laughlin in March. My best friend's daughter is getting married. On a boat. On the Colorado River. In Nevada. I'll be there, wouldn't miss it. M marries M to become M&M.

2.09.2008

enis

Enis Richter 1932-2008
Enis Richter passed away peacefully at the Phillip Old Folks Home just this past Wednesday while playing cards with Willie Wilburn and Norman Schuler. Lunch that day was served a la carte and included shredded chicken and pork BBQ, white beans, lime jello and cornbread. Enis passed shortly after lunch, peacefully and holding a pair of Jacks which, had he not passed, would have taken Schuler's pair of eights and 17 matchsticks to boot. Enis is survived by sisters Bernice Chappadoor of Bay City, WI, Patricia (Poot) Schulze of Bismark, ND and brother Sam. Services will be held Monday, February 11, 2008 at the Wall Methodist Church where Enis was a devoted if infrequent supplicant. Betty Willeuwite and Sandy Simpendorfer are baking pies for the affair but you are encouraged to bring your own.
Flowers by Ann. Join us for donuts before the service at Wall Drug.

ceremony

thom yorke and radiohead perform joy division's ceremony ...

2.06.2008

rule of the bone

No. It's not what you think. Pervert. The title line is about a dude from Kansas who founded a Church based on the concepts of Intelligent Design (but not really and after the fact), which is an argument that we should teach children science and religion at the same time. If the argument was based on the simple premise of efficiency (the ancient Greek two birds with one stone hypothesis, for example), I would be more than inclined to agree. But unfortunately, it is not.
Alas, the Designer's got there first. Laws were passed. The teaching of Creationism was mandated under the scientific mantle of Intelligent Design. That theory basically states that only someone really smart could have created the Universe and he/she/it looks and thinks like us. And us is us, who else would it be?
I can't quite follow this logic.
I drifted.
And then I met a Pastafarian waitress at Hooters in Scottsdale. She was an adherent of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And, at that magical moment, I became one too. An adherent, that is.

Wait, what was I talking about? Lost my train of thought.
Oh yeah, Hooters. Great place.

the distillers

Whatever happened to the distillers? here's a vid

the hunger

one toke over the line

Actually, I prefer the Benicio Del Torro version from the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas ...