51st and glendale

I found her at the corner of 51st and Glendale at the feed store. I was buyin' a bag of rosin for my bull rope so I could get it ready for the rodeo coming up in Gilbert. Needed a new glove too. Then I looked down the aisle and saw the damndest, prettiest gal I'd ever seen. Didn't give it too much thought at the time but then I ran into her again at checkout. She was buying salt blocks, chicken feed and ant poison for the damn ants that get into the chicken feed. Not that the chickens won't eat the ants right along with the feed "but they tend to crawl into your boots." she said.
Now I had already taken off my hat (Justin, white straw, 20 bucks on sale at the local western outfitters, made in Mexico), simply hoping she would know what that meant. She commented on my ropers. A little worn, worse for the wear and tear they are. She was wearing ropers to, same color. Not so worn.
She has green eyes and a smile that lights up the sky. She has a voice that I'm sure makes doves cry. And from the moment I heard that voice and paired it with the beauty before me, I knew I was lost. Done for. In love. So I'm sellin' my ropin' gear and my ponies, cheap. Gonna get a real job. Quit ridin'. Quit windin' up in jail every other Saturday in Pueblo CO, Henderson NE, or Yuma AZ. Can't mention Quartzite since the charges are pending. That was not my gun, by the way.
Sounds funny, I know, coming from a hardened old cuss like me. But I still know a pretty flower when I see one. I'll grow a whole garden full of 'em for her. She is the best thing this old cowboy's got close to in a long time.

little things in life

before I met you baby
the little things in life just passed me by
the sound of children's laughter
the tune to some forgotten lullaby
i was out of town on business
back when i had no place to call my home
i was arrrested by your beauty
we locked into a cell of all our own

you know i love you baby
ah honey what else could i do?
so let me know if there's anything
just anything i can do for you

when i was just a youngster
i collected crazy visions in my head
yeah the scene from 'the night porter'
a broken jelly jar crushed by the bed
yes at times our love was fragile
like a hand me down watch that slows down when its old
but our love could last forever
like a sacred ring of precious stones and gold

before I met you baby
the little things in life just passed me by
the color of the twilight
the reflection of my smile in your eyes

helicopters

every time i think that phoenix has taught me a new lesson in intolerance, they throw helicopters at me. i'm sitting outside in a predominantly Mexican occupied trailer-park and a copter hovers overhead, shining a spotlight. i was under a canopy (word to you copter idiots) and couldn't be seen but i'm annoyed. so i stand in the yard and wait and when they flash me, i represent america with a single finger. like nodding at a jehovah's witness, they take the bait. within minutes i'm surrounded by jackbooted thugs and cans of pepper spray.
who are you? what are you doing here (in America shouldn't I be asking that question?)
do you live here? um, maybe, who's asking.
may we approach?
no, you're close enough.
we are concerned that you may be harboring fugitives.
so get a warrant and come back. i'll be asleep and the fugitives that aren't here now probably won't be here then. in the meantime, stay off my property.
they converse, and Cpt. darth vader nods. they leave. mumbling like a gaggle of pure retards.
as they do, i mention the Wafflehouse on McKellips has a cook with M13 tatts. go fuck with him, but not until after you have your eggs, because he's a very good cook. and the waitress will make a fresh pot. if you're nice.

the killer

he came dancing across the water
with his galleons and guns
looking for the new world
a palace in the sun

offered life in sacrifice
so that others could go on

i know she's living there
and she loves me to this day
i still can't remember where or how i lost my way

if i could lose my mind

This is a short segment paraphrasing the words and work of Curt Kirkwood, who with his brother Chris and Derrick Bostrom, formed one of the greatest, most articulate and more eccentric bands of the early '80's right here in Tempe, AZ. (Tempe? Obviously rich kids.)
Curt lives in Austin now, my friend Ken ran into him there recently, I don't recall Ken's recounting of the conversation but Ken is known in many circles and I'm sure Curt was happy to meet him.
Chris struggled for awhile but has things in order now and is touring with his brother Curt again.
Derrick still lives in Tempe and has a radio gig with Mesa Community College. We speak every now and then (more then than now). He has insight on the early 80's LA scene and when asked about the SST days, he remarked, as I recall, 'it was not fun, Greg Ginn (Black Flag) was an ass'.
I last saw the original group at Cedarfest in Minneapolis in about 1992-3. Don't remember the year but Cedarfest is in August. I biked over from Columbus Ave. and ran into my friend Pat who produced a big fattie. Killer pot. Yikes was I high after that.
The Puppets blew the amps, but a local group whose name I do not recall (I was high, remember?) re-equipped the system in time for Yo La Tengo. Our friends, Tammy and Kim, showed up mid-way through the Yo La Tengo set and it was like magic. Summer in the city.

"There's nothing on top but a bucket and a mop and illustrated book about birds. You might go, but don't be scared, 'cause who needs action when you got words?"

I got a dollar in my pocket and a razor in my shoe.

Plateau.

gonna go meet up with Bigfoot

he has been monitoring my posts and finally contacted me. he wants to meet. seems he has a legal matter in re a splinter cat. i didn't think they had them up around Vancouver but seems they do and I have agreed to represent him. there will be a lawsuit, recriminations and what have you. i may need to borrow your goat (you goat owners know I mean you) and harness to get into the back country. he won't come out. took me over a month to get him on Twitter. don't know how or where he scored the iPhone. probably a tent raid. when Bigfoot comes into camp you either stand your ground and have a smoke with him or run like a girl. i've done both. mostly because he doesn't bathe often enough and stinks to high heaven. plus, he always gets the joint wet before handing it back. it's like Dude, dry your lips.
but he has been working on his English and I've been teaching him a little French. suspect I'll get him and family moved into the suburbs soon. it's cold enough in Minneapolis for all that hair. and the Mick Jagger lips will be sure to turn some heads. just got to get him some Bono sunglasses so we can down some pints like we did in Dublin in '82.

askew

so it all went askew. the train left the tracks. the car was repossessed. i was left with a handful of roofing nails, a sleeping bag and a dead cat; a bottomless pit with nothing in sight. just darkness in a starless night.
i jumped in my truck and drove three miles east on McKellips Road to the Waffle House. dude with M13 tatts made me three eggs over easy, hash-browns and toast. he threw out the coffee and made a fresh pot. there was no one there so we stepped outside for a cigarette - i quit smoking about two years ago but i smoked one there. in the parking lot. by the door. didn't really talk. had nothing to say.
it all comes down to this. no place to go. no place to be. no one to count on. one pair of shoes, two pairs of pants. a blue shirt and the desert before me.
helpless

i can't screw this up

I've been trying very hard to write what I think and what I want to say, but it's not that easy. It's actually very hard. I think I've run into a buzzsaw of emotion because I've found an inescapably beautiful friend. A lifelong deal. A person dear to me. Very dear.

She is the prettiest girl in the world. On every level. It's a solid hold. I don't want anything else.
I'm going to stay with her forever.

If I can.

when it gets hot

When it gets hot in Phoenix we go into full retreat. Air conditioned cars take us to air conditioned offices. We try to park in the shade and determine the best vector into the air conditioned space awaiting. Sidewalks have no purpose to this effort, the grass is dormant anyway, the trees are always the same, always in bloom.
But when you get used to it, you just slow down and take a considered approach. One step at a time. Car, pavement, door, ultimately nirvana. You keep your clothes light and water at hand. You enjoy the heat. It refreshes you. And you go on. Until you go outside again. And do it all over again.

the worst of us

small infractions emotionally. misunderstandings. tiny thinking. love in a vacuum that spans a continent. true weirdness. little hope.
realizing you don't want out, you want in
forever
and ever

the best of us

Can't quite compete. We just run in the race. Hoping we make it to the endline and have someone waiting there. I do. I know that much. If nothing else.

i'm in love with a girl

I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl
Who's still around the morning after
We broke up a month ago, and I grew up - I didn't know
I'd be around the morning after

It's always been wait and see
A happy day and then you'll pay
And feel like shit the morning after
But now I feel changed around
And instead of falling down
I'm standing up the morning after
Situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later
I could be another fool or an exception to the rule
You tell me the morning after

Crooked spin can't come to rest
I'm damaged bad at best
She'll decide what she wants
I'll probably be the last to know
No one says it 'til it shows
See how it is, they want you or they don't
Say yes