mcdonalds

please be seated, this might take awhile

so i go to mcdonalds, pull up to the talking order box and order a quarter lb'er with cheese, plain - just bread, cheese and burger (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) ... and could i get some pickles 'on the side'?

the order taker sounded cute but apparently i blew her mind and exceeded the collective capacity of the McD's POS and upper management. "we just microwave it, sir, for the 35 seconds it takes you to drive from there (talking menu box) to here (one of two windows where the goods are dispensed)", but "i'm not authorized to give you pickles in a separate container".

what? not authorized?

i wondered. is there a sliced pickle shortage? is ths a result of the bad economy? the last swipe of a doomed Republican party? pickle nazis? bikers? meth-heads? for Chrissakes, I just wanted my pickles on the side. in a separate container. to use according to my own plan.

i was then asked to approach the 'second window'. i'm frightened by that (and wondering why I wasn't first window material), but do as told.

when i get there i'm given a burger in one sack with knapkins and another sack with six little lidded plastic containers full of pickles and 15 ketchups. a cute little gal swipes my card but before she hands me my receipt, she says 'wait just a sec'. having just learned a lesson in fast food obedience, i held tight. i figured they were getting a good digi-cam photo for the cops. i keep a loaded gun in the truck so I was ready for a shootout if necessary and i always wanted to be that guy on the news, running from the cops, filmed from above, but i didn't have to put the gun in play ...

she gave me my receipt and on it she had written her name and number ... "Call me, I'm Maria - 480-679 -****" you're sweet".

and i thought, yes, maybe i am and maybe i will