gravity biscuits

"Yes, sir" the boy was heard to say, "I'll take a gravity defying biscuit! Just let me remove my plexiglass space helmet."
Now that we've determined the Georgia Sasquatch was only a rubber Halloween costume, can we really trust anything/anybody? Biscuits from space. Cars that run on water. People from High Point, North Carolina where they put too much sugar in their iced tea and too much vinegar in their BBQ. Speaking of which, who ever heard of putting cole slaw on a vinegary pulled pork sandwich? It doesn't make sense.
Falling commodities prices, a rising dollar; both recent improbabilities. I think I'll move to Mexico and sell pot on a secluded beach. Pot sells low, but it always sells for a small profit. I'll grill fresh fish and big, fat shrimp on an open wood fire and maybe become a painter. Or some other type of dirt-poor artisan. Burn my credit cards for fuel. Just Marlon Brando, Pocohantas and me.
So please send money to help this boy realize his dream. And buy a plexiglass space helmet and some gravity defying biscuits. Arriba!