flaps

The Gilbert "Miracle of Earflap Flight" contest concluded yesterday evening after the rain stopped. Brady O'Rourke (center) took the Gold with an ear-flap flight careening off the top of Barry's garage 60 meters into the Ruby Red grapefruit tree over by the Mormon fence. Brady's trajectory control impressed the judges, though there were some questions raised regarding the aerodynamics of his Freddie Mercury mustache and whether that body-mod met the committee specs rule-wise.
Runner-up Silver Medalist Barry Severson challenged but fell short. Being a short, stunted, runt-like creature, his ear-flaps couldn't get him off the ground for more than a couple of meters. A few seconds of uninterrupted flight and then right into the fire pit like a moth or a girl.
Bronze Medalist Marty Heathershaw wowed the assembled with the mere appearance of ear lobe assisted flight. Having borrowed an iPod, it was reported that he dialed into the Slobberbone song "Springfield, Illinois" and while rocking out, flew around like a fruit bat on acid.
It was a great competitive event - the first ever sponsored by HOOTENANNY. When we've successfully pushed out the brand name, we'll have more. The next we'd like to sponsor is cap related. We're looking for dudes with caps running pell mell into stuccoed walls and fences. We'll rate the contestants based on origin of cap and facial injuries sustained. True blood sport for the HOOTENANNY Hardcore.