run with kittens

blue flame

the kooks

raccoon dogs

The Raccoon Dog is a member of the canid group (which is Latin for Doggus Fakeus or “fake dog” or "fuckin' dog" family in the US which includes dogs, some wolves, metro-coyotes, rabies-free foxes and edible tree squirrels) and is indigenous to east Asia, the Dolomines and the US central west. It is not a true dog. It will not come when it’s called.
The raccoon dog is named for its superficial resemblance to the raccoon. When they live in the arctic their fur changes color to white so it can blend in with its surroundings. US dwellers develop a distinct “mossy oak” camouflage coat. Or appear to be wearing Carhartt gear. The rest of the time, they resemble raccoons.
Raccoon Dogs are native or have been introduced to Korea, Malaysia Japan and southwestern South Dakota and a small ranch near Valentine NE. Average adult head and body length is about 2 ft and weight ranges from 9 to 22 lbs. Average litters are large, up to 15 or more pups. Longevity is 3–4 years in the wild and up to 11 years in captivity. They are found in both plains and mountainous regions and are especially common in woodlands and peasant villages in the northeast quadrant of Pennington County in South Dakota.
Native raccoon dog populations have declined in recent years due to hunting, fur trade and fur trapping, urbanization, an increase of animals associated with human civilization such as bars and laundromats, and diseases that may be transmitted between them like cirrhosis and AIDS.
Like many other canids, they are omnivorous. However, their diets are atypically diverse, consisting of invertebrates, Big Mac cheeseburgers, spotted lake frogs, lizards, rodents and birds along with steamed kale, black eyed peas with seeds, berries and California cherrie tomatoes and fast-food salads with bacon bits and "Paul Newman's Own" salad dressing. Those living near the ocean will also eat crabs and scavenged marine life. Those living near stockponds relish turtles and bullheads. Rare Pennington County raccoon dogs subsist almost entire on beer, French fries and peanut butter (chunky style).
Raccoon dogs are not generally known as heavy drinkers though the Baltic dogs often indulge in their favorite grain or potato-based vodka. Their binges are community based and quite insular often relegated to a small island, peninsula or gorge. US raccoon dogs are more public. Their drinking, often not much more than beer, often results in either a riot, a gradual realization of tomorrow's tasks or the harmless slaughter of other small animals with a high powered center-fire rifle and spotlight.
Raccoon Dogs are secretive (Masons) and not very aggressive (Mormons); like Masons they prefer to hide or scream rather than fight, and play dead to avoid animals that will eat them. Like Mormons they become physically and sexually mature after one year and live in "compounds". Both groups will eat food from your fridge. Neither will ever clean your bathroom.
The Raccoon Dog is the only fake dog to go into torpor through the cold months. This is thought to be a result of the annual Canadian "skunk" harvest. Canadian skunk has replaced Thai as the weed of choiceand even Asian raccoon dogs are sensing the trend. On another note, the raccoon dog is also unusual in that its curved claws enable it to climb trees; the only other canid with this ability is the gray fox. It does not bark and it turns its tail into an inverted U to express dominance. The Raccoon Dog's teeth are small for a canid but can kill a child or a cat just like that.

ghosts

Says Reznor:

This music arrived unexpectedly as the result of an experiment. The rules were as follows: 10 weeks, no clear agenda, no overthinking, everything driven by impulse. Whatever happens during that time gets released as... something.

The team: Atticus Ross, Alan Moulder and myself with some help from Alessandro Cortini, Adrian Belew and Brian Viglione. Rob Sheridan collaborated with Artist in Residence (A+R) to create the accompanying visual and physical aesthetic.

We began improvising and let the music decide the direction. Eyes were closed, hands played instruments and it began. Within a matter of days it became clear we were on to something, and a lot of material began appearing. What we thought could be a five song EP became much more. I invited some friends over to join in and we all enjoyed the process of collaborating on this.

The end result is a wildly varied body of music that we're able to present to the world in ways the confines of a major record label would never have allowed - from a 100% DRM-free, high-quality download, to the most luxurious physical package we've ever created.

fightin' five year olds

20

hootenanny tv

Animation:

workin' out

Picked up this new-fangled work out bike from the Gilbert Sports Authority. It's got a built in neck brace. There are two more at the store so if you want one I can get you one and ship it to you. Let me know.

my bro in china

Travel dispatches. I didn't know it until I got the first email, but elder brother is in China. He has been writing via a wireless device. Here are the results:

Friday, April 4, 2008.
This is cool! I am standing on the Great Wall of China, built over a thousand and more years up through the 1600s. In a break from meetings in Beijing, Frank and I have escaped the city for a couple of hours to come see the part of the Wall at Badaling. It is amazingly steep, with steps that vary between an inch and twenty inches in height; I have no idea how I am going to get back down.

We arrived yesterday afternoon at the new international terminal built for the 2008 Olympics; it just opened last week. Once you get through immigration, you have to take a train to reach baggage claim, which seems like it is 2 or 3 miles away. Otherwise it was easy to navigate. Our taxi driver did not know how to get to the hotel; fortunately, I had the telephone number and he called to find out we were literally a block away.

After a short rest at the hotel, we met one of our contacts and were taken to dinner at a restaurant serving Szechuan food. It was VERY spicy. Frank had to order rice to cool his mouth down. I drank LOTS of beer. But the food was incredibly delicious. We started with a tea-smoked deep fried fish, woodear mushrooms stewed with Szechuan chilis and a silken poached chicken with a burning hot chili sauce. The others were impressed with my ability to use chopsticks (being the only "foreigner" at the table).

After the "cold" (actually, they were room temperature) dishes, we moved on to a crispy shredded beef dish with shredded chilis and scallions, a thinly sliced beef and chili dish cooked in a chili oil by dropping heated stones into the oil and a fish dish cooked the same way with Szechuan peppercorns. We also had a superb dish of tofu in a minced pork and chili sauce. We topped it all off with a bowl of dan dan noodles, noodles served in a chili and sesame sauce. I don't know how Frank managed to eat rice with all that. Ricardo and & Celeste will remember the extra spicy minced chicken dish we had at Telephone Thai a couple of weeks ago and understand when I say that none of the dishes we had were less spicy than that chicken dish at Telephone Thai. My mouth was burning last night, but all I can think of today is how I would like to repeat that dinner tonight.

Well, more to come later. I've got to figure out how to climb back down steps that are 20 inches high, without falling down the mountainside. If you'd rather not hear about my wandering about, let me know and I'll leave you off further emails.

Best regards,
Mark

Saturday, April 5, 2008
And the whole story at the Great Wall involves a camel: Should Have Been Obvious principle #1 - riding a camel is not a good idea. SHBO principle #2 - even a two-humped camel (and possibly, especially a two-humped camel). SHBO principle #3 - especially if you don't really fit between the humps. SHBO principle #4 - and don't even think how you're going to get off the creature. Well, at least I gathered a small crowd and they all thought it was pretty funny, even if I was having a pretty hard time seeing the humor of it. Facts to pay attention to: camels are taller than they seem; humps are not solid; a stepladder is an unwieldy and somewhat impractical means to get on and off a camel. I thought they knelt down for you, but apparently not this fellow. Pictures were taken but whether I'll show them to anybody has yet to be decided. At least I made it down those steep steps of the Great Wall before tackling the Camel and the Stepladder.

Later that day:
Well, one of them, at least (there are a number of them). I made it down those steps at the Great Wall in good enough time that we had time to stop at the Yongle emperor's tomb on our way back to Beijing.

On a side note, I am not sure I will survive the traffic here. I have yet to see any rules being followed. You just creep your way across an intersection with traffic coming at you from all directions. Everybody honks and nobody stops for anything. Thank God we have a driver or I would have been dead long ago. I see police everywhere but they don't seem to have much impact. It's exciting and frightening at the same time to see a huge bus come within an inch of your window, honking continuously, trying to force your driver to give him the right of way.

Back to the tomb of the Yongle emperor. The buildings are magnificent and situated in quiet parkland at the foot of a mountain. All quiet, no honking, no exhaust fumes. The smog is unbelievable here; the only difference I remember in Mexico City where it was awful is that it was blackish brown there, while it is a ghostly gray here. But it is everywhere like a smelly fog; it will be hard to complain about Houston.

But now, back to Beijing and more business, with another dinner tonight. Blair, you gave me your cold AGAIN. I will remember this! Thank goodness I brought cold medication with me.

Best regards,
Mark

Another fantastic dinner, this one of small dishes in a restaurant with the menu entirely and only in Chinese, even the numbers. Thank goodness it was on neither my shoulders nor Frank's either to order or to decipher the payment required.

We went with a charming gentleman and his beautiful wife, who speaks good English and is head of the technical division of a state-owned company that sells drilling rigs all over the world. They were a delight to be with and decided to take us to a small restaurant on Houhai lake in the Yangfang hutong district where the Chinese leadership lives. Hutongs are the walled courtyard homes of old Beijing where the princes and other relatives of the emperor lived along winding alleyways and of course this district on the lakeside is one of the more popular, with courtyard homes selling in the tens of millions of dollars.

The taxi let us out at the opposite end of the lake so we had an interesting walk along the lakeside, which is fronted by one neonlit bar after another, each with its touts standing I'm front making every effort to get you to stop at their establishment. One even had a sign out front that began in English, "Hey, handsome boy and beautiful girl . . . ". That was all I could read as we passed by. It was a beautiful night with all of the lights around the lake, and the walk was pleasant, but I had definitely worked up an appetite by the time we finally reached the restaurant 45 minutes after the cab dropped us off.

Well, I must prepare for my next engagement, so will continue later.

Best regards,
Mark

bing bang boing

third base mavis

Third Base Mavis cooked the school lunch in the old High School. She came from out east, maybe Ohio or Indiana and she knew her slap-dash beef and macaroni and tomato soup from a can. 3B Mavis pioneered the art of of white flour buns and honey-butter. She'd barter milk prices and pick and can the corn for her tamale pie.
She was called Third Base Mavis or 3B for short on account of the high school boys who frequented her shingled shack in Hillcrest. Ole 3B kept Dingel's Corn Whiskey on hand. After a few, she was willin' to let the boys get to third. Try a home run and you'd meet 3B's nickel plated 38.

Scott Pippert wrote a song for Mavis or a poem, if that'd be best for your recall:

Old Third Base Mavis was a son of a gun,
Made her livin' off a honey bun.
A three cent milk and a can of pears,
tattoos, hairnets and fightin' scars.

Ol' Mavis made goulash, beef with tomato,
And a rough piece of work she called Deadwood potato.
She drank beer at the Badlands,
whiskey down in Scenic,
and gasoline in Pine Ridge,
and dreamed of living in Phoenix.

She never made it there,
her money was not willin'.
She stayed in Wall and screwed em' all.
'cause that was most fulfillin'.

As the years passed by and Mavis aged.
a legend began to form.
Of all the local gentlemen,
Mavis had performed.

There was Scott and Lee, there was Bill and Shorty Schuler, Rusty, Rocky and Casey and the entire crew of the custom harvesting team of Skip and (Kansas Boy) Buehler. There was Jim Doyle, his dad and the Richters. Stan and Stuart Mettler, who, as father and son stayed true to their fetish for "lunch-lady" toes.

3B Mavis is gone now. Dead and buried. We buried her up on Hell's Half Acre which gets smaller every year due to natural erosion. Eventually, Mavis will re-enter this world. Mostly bones but maybe part carcass. Human jerky.

PS: Word is the 38 is missing. By this post, I'm asking who has it?

living in quinn

someone actually commented on this post. i can never tell who will find something interesting.
this is not quinn. it has nothing to do with quinn. it is a blue house in louisiana or mississippi or somewhere nearby.
living in quinn is a state of mind that has nothing to do with history so don't send me the history of quinn. i won't post it. if you want that crap online, start your own webpage.

gone shootin'

The National Rifle Association, or NRA, is a non-profit group for the promotion of firearm ownership rights, marksmanship, firearm safety, and the protection of hunting and self-defense in the United States, established in New York in 1871 as the American Rifle Association. It sponsors firearm safety training courses, as well as marksmanship events featuring shooting skills and sports. The NRA is sometimes said to be the single most powerful non-profit organization in the United States. It bases its political activity on the principle that gun ownership is a civil liberty protected by the Second Amendment of the Bill of Rights, and claims to be the oldest continuously operating civil liberties organization in the United States. According to its website, the NRA has "more than four million members.

pig

When I'm eating corn, I often opt for some pig as well. Most of you call it pork, others call it "the other white meat". I just call it pig. That speaks well and fairly of the entire carcass. Pink skin, bristles. Tripe. Tail soup. Fried ears. Pulled. Fried. Grilled. Served with rice and beans Cuban style. It's all good. And guess what? Chewy pig snout sandwiches are out there standing in the wings, waiting to take the stage. Our field correspondent, Tina Haney, writes:

This [sandwich] is tasty in a VERY disturbing way. You bite in, you taste the bread, the sauce and then CRUNCH--you are crunching the cartilage. It's incredibly crunchy: like biting through a bunch of twigs, only pig nose twigs. At the same time, there was something pleasing about it: like gnawing on a chicken bone or like eating a shrimp with the shell still on ... I loved my pig snout sandwich, ... I'm really glad I tried it.

Dang. I want one. Think I'll head over to Hap's BBQ (owned and founded by South Dakotans of the Rapid City ilk - KC/Texas pit-sweet BBQ styles practiced) on Washington Ave tomorrow and request a menu addition. A side of barn beans and vinegar corn cabbage with a bottle of real Root Beer and a sour dough flake biscuit with sweet cream butter churned out back in Queen Creek. Just like heaven.
And while we're on the subject, here's a quick and easy recipe for making pickled pig's feet right in your own kitchen. Don't never say you didn't get any value from this website ...

An item available in about every bar when I was growing up was pickled pigs feet.
You could buy them individually. They were great with
a cold beer. Here is a quick and easy recipe for you
to fix your own:

Ingredients:

4 pigs' feet (split in half)
3 cups cider vinegar
1 onion (sliced)
1 tsp crushed red pepper
3 whole cloves
1 bay leaf

Wash the pigs feet thoroughly. Place in a pot with cold
water along with the vinegar. Bring to a boil and skim
off the foam. Add other ingredients and cook over medium
heat until thoroughly done (approximately 2 1/2 hours).

Store in a container along with the liquid. If you have
too much liquid, remove the cooked pigs feet and boil it
down a little. Refrigerate. Serve cold.

corn

Corn. We all like it. So do our cows and pigs and chickens and everyone from Iowa and Nebraska in general. But, we are at risk of losing our corn as we meet the dual challenge of ethanol and genetic manipulation. Taking food from the mouths of babies and the poor to fuel unnecessarily offensive gas guzzling vehicles and seed companies that patent genetic strains that are designed to respond to chemical treatments of herbicides and pesticides that they make and peddle along with the seed. Use the seed without attribution and risk copyright and patent violations. Both can and have lead to civil damage awards in US courts. One was prosecuted on the criminal side of the judicial ball.
When I was in college, I had a friend who lived in a mobile home on the edge of a field of sweet corn. We used to "borrow" an ear or two when we grilled. It was the best corn I've ever had. Now I pump it into my vehicle and drive to the store. Something got all fucked up along the way ...
When you vote next fall, keep corn in your headlights. As the farmers make up for years of distress due to increased demand and the new trucks line main-street in Moeville, IA, and tractors till from fence-line to ditch and drought ravages range cattle production and food costs shoot through the roof - be ready. Dig a bunker and stock it with canned goods. Clean and oil your guns and buy more ammo. Keep a close eye on your neighbors and the patterns of migrating birds. Stop going to church.
Focus on the corn crop. It's our only hope. Well, excepting potatoes, that is ...

almost crimes

broken social scene

the lone rhinoceros

The last, lone rhinoceros left Gilbert at 10:10 PM MST Friday, February 29 on a flight bound for Minneapolis-St. Paul where he'll catch a Greyhound Bus to his final destination in Morris, Minnesota. In Morris, the last rhinoceros will turn himself into campus police at the University of Minnesota-Morris for incarceration and tests and an attempt to reproduce with chickens to bear progeny extending his particular line of rhinoceros. Success is questionable and a freak of nature probable.
But, if failure is the result, it doesn't mean you should give up chicken. Some chickens are still bred, born and slaughtered in the old fashioned way with an axe, boiling cauldron of water and propane torch. The free range chicken of yesteryear still pecks away in the barnyard of your uncles and cousins, is stowed away in your freezer or canned in large mason jars. All to good effect. Soups are made; casseroles and stews competing for attention.
Chicken is good food for the most part. Pieces and parts provide great variety. Beaks and feet are sold to Asian markets where chickens are ubiquitous, though beakless. Plentiful like the duck, but with less risk of bird flu.
In Ulan Bator, I once sampled chicken cake; a light, frothy affair with a chicken broth meringue. In Thailand, I tasted toasted chicken beaks. Crunchy, acrid and sweet, like burnt toast and honey. In the deep south of America, I feasted on a buttery chicken feet stew with okra and a poke salad. In the Philippines, I learned that unborn chicken balut is better than duck balut. I like to steam my balut with mixed vegetables and rice in my rice cooker. Crunchy, chewey, putridly savory just like you mom's balut with canned tomatoes and watermelon pickles.
But this all goes without saying if the lone rhinoceros is extinct, we have little choice but to stick with chicken and the chicken manufacturers will be congratulated for their persistence and faith. Chik-Fil-A's will continue to prosper and we'll get the chicken we want without regard to the rhinoceros.

blessed are the cheesemakers

Cheese is a food made from the milk of cows, goats, sheep and other mammals, by coagulating the milk. This is accomplished by first acidifying it with a bacterial culture and then employing the enzyme rennet (or rennet substitutes) to coagulate the milk to "curds and whey." The precise bacteria and processing of the curds play a role in defining the texture and flavor of most cheeses. Some cheeses also feature molds, either on the outer rind or throughout.
There are hundreds of types of cheese produced all over the world. Different styles and flavors of cheese are the result of using milk from various mammals or with different butterfat contents, employing particular species of bacteria and molds, and varying the length of aging and other processing treatments. Other factors include animal diet and the addition of flavoring agents such as herbs, spices, or wood smoke. Whether the milk is pasteurized may also affect the flavor. The yellow to red coloring of many cheeses is a result of adding annatto. Cheeses are eaten both on their own and cooked as part of various dishes; most cheeses melt when heated.
For a few cheeses, the milk is curdled by adding acids such as vinegar or lemon juice. Most cheeses, however, are acidified to a lesser degree by bacteria, which turn milk sugars into lactic acid, followed by the addition of rennet to complete the curdling. Rennet is an enzyme mixture traditionally obtained from the stomach lining of young cattle, but now also laboratory produced. Vegetarian alternatives to rennet are available; most are produced by fermentation of the fungus Mucor miehei, but others have been extracted from various species of the Cynara thistle family.
Cheese has served as a hedge against famine and is a good travel food. It is valuable for its portability, long life, and high content of fat, protein, calcium, and phosphorus. Cheese is a more compact form of nutrition and has a longer shelf life than the milk from which it is made. Cheesemakers can place themselves near the center of a dairy region and benefit from fresher milk, lower milk prices, and lower shipping costs. The substantial storage life of cheese lets a cheesemaker sell when prices are high or when money is needed.

kurdistan workers party

You are invited. The Kurdistan Workers Party will be held this year at Champions Sports Bar (formerly the Copper Penny) in downtown Gilbert, Arizona. (We'll be in the left back bar area away from the TV's where the Gilbert Road and Boating Club will be gathering to watch the Daytona 500.) Show up early for the falafel and spanikopita. Grape leaves, plumb tomatoes, vinegar rice balls, pork and lamb souvlaki, broiled gyros meat and olives on Syrian soft flatbread will also be served. At 3:00 PM, we'll be holding the 'Tatziki Tasting' with prizes for best base yogurt (cow, oxen and sheep), garlic and cucumber. At 4:00 PM, we'll hold the the crowning event, Baklava and the Art of Phyllo. Last year's winner, Maria Rasz-Birkeryat, we'll return with her Sumerian Cottonseed Honey and Almond concoction.
This year's K.P.P. (Kurdistan Workers Party) holds great promise for the best Valley ethno-nationalistic diaspora party of the year. You'll have the opportunity to meet Sulman Bayekir, the former Mayor of Erzurum. Ali Farke Toure will be spinning the vinyl with his Indo-African beats from 1:00 PM until party's end. Belly dancing is encouraged and since the Renaissance Fair is in full swing down in Gold Canyon, a few may be in the area. We hope to see you there and, of course, bring almonds!

pre-approved

I am pre-approved for an auto loan on a 2008 Toyota Tundra. It worked. I have an appointment for a test drive Friday. I particularly like the Double Cab with 5.7 Liter V8 (pictured above with optional fender-monkey). This is wrong, but after driving a Camry for a few months I feel like my testicles have lost weight and I'm sporting bigger man-boobs.
I need a gas-guzzling road giant to make things right again. It's like HGH for the man-guy in all of us.

be prepared

Percy Morell Fenstrome was a Boy Scout Master of the highest order. Though relegated to the annals of history at an early age due to a malformation of the kidney, Percy commanded Troop 117, Bear Lodge Creek Chapter with a sharp wit and a strong boot. Canvas tents were kept immaculately clean, hatchet blades sharp and felt wool hats were blocked and pumiced nightly.
At 36, a galloping kidney got the best of Percy. A galloping kidney is a malformation of the kidney that is both rare and deadly. The galloping kidney moves about the lower peritoneal cavity with alacrity, engaging other organs in a a game of tag, so to speak. It is a genetic condition. It is not contagious but appears more frequently in native Malaysians and the Ghurkas of Istanbul, Turkey. There is no known cure.
Percy's kidney developed galloping tendencies around age 28 and by his early 30's, it had tagged nearly every other organ in Percy's abdominal cavity. Then, late one fall day in 1936, the kidney made an all out attempt to escape and began migrating upward through Percy's alimentary canal. Percy died three days later.
RIP Percy Morell Fenstrome.