resident dave

MSP3.
Resident Dave is moving out at the end of the month with his dog Scoobie. Scoobie is the cooler of the two. Scoobie doesn't corner you and talk utter nonsense like Dave does. And while Scoobie can be an offensive sniffer, he responds to commands. Dave not so much.
But I have found that Dave responds to direction. Like "Hey Dave, sweep the patio and pick up those twigs, we'll build a fire." He'll go right at it. He'll say, "Yeah, yeah, right, I need to do that." I just sit and watch, smiling. Wondering what makes a dude like that tick. If someone said that to me, I'd chuckle and say "for real, dude?" And if dude said "yeah, clean the patio", I'd say "[expletive deleted], and if it isn't too much to ask, bring me a beer, your wife clearly doesn't understand how to." But, that's just me. I can be abrasive but I've always figured folks appreciate a straight-shooter.
For example: I spotted the cross-eyed baby with the birthmark of Florida on it's forehead (they fixed the eye, but last I heard the map covered the entire SE US); I warned my roommate that his new mustache was a little too "Freddie Mercury" (he shaved it off same day); and my favorite, when I told Curt Warner, "yep, you can jump and ride a porcupine but you might regret it." He jumped it anyway. (He regretted it.)