'elizabeth' of the wall celebration committee is suing hootenanny!

HootVille, July 30. Someone going by the name of Elizabeth (which we believe is simply a not-so-clever pseudonym) has taken exception with Hootenanny's Wall Celebration Coverage and brought suit in the 7th Judicial Circuit Court in Rapid City, SD charging slander, libel and intentional infliction of emotional distress while requesting damages in excess of 50K. I'll post the Certified Complaint and Supporting Documents later for your easy reading.

Our initial public response is to let it be known Hootenanny will stand on the truth and will present evidence and witnesses that will support our editorial integrity and our sincere assessment of a dismal social gathering in a hot, small town just east of The Middle of Fucking Nowhere. We believe that but for the good companionship of a few former residents who traveled far (Kansas and California) and those beings both internal and regionally extrapolated (Jim, Randys 1 & 2, Grant, Jem, etc.) the Celebration was a complete, fucking failure. A waste of time. An anti-celebration. A lower-table-eating, working/moron dork-fest. About as much ancillary fun as cleaning a rest area toilet with your last t-shirt.

Why don't we tick off some specific failures:
- no weed
- no pot
- no acid
- no shrooms
- no cocaine
- you call that a single malt?
- pizza, my ass
- how about a third bar?
- beer tent (what the fuck is that?)
- how about some music?
- a carnival? did this ever cross the celebration committee's agenda?

We could go on and on and sooner or later we will. So, Ms. Elizabeth (why don't you tell us your real name so we can correspond more efficiently), quit your lawsuit against the Hoot or prepare for a long, drawn-out administrative nightmare. We have the means and the ability and look forward to the fight. Check your credit record and get your tax docs in order. We'll be seeking those first with our FRE Rule 5 Discovery Request (you can look it up on Westlaw or pay your attorney/prostitute to do it for you). Don't make us get a Court Order. If that's necessary, we will inflict serious pain. Simply file the fidelity bond to the tune of 300K with my friends at Western Surety in Sioux Falls and you better get a bigger mailbox.

We mean well but in the immortal words of Dave Simms, "We do what we want."

If that displeases you, then "Frank Olic". Or FO if you know what I mean.

Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Suggestions for next year's celebration. Here's one. Let's have it somewhere else!