12.29.2006

hoot predicts - watch the list grow!


With the valuable assistance of Nostradamus himself, Hootenanny makes the following predictions for 2007.

1. The North American Sasquatch will reveal himself.
2. Computers will get faster.
3. TV's will stop growing at 61 inches.
4. The Himalayan Yeti will challenge the authenticity of the North American Sasquatch.
5. A Yeti/Sasquatch bidding war will develop between Old Navy and Abercrombie & Fitch.
6. Computers will get more faster.
7. The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation will secede from the Union.
8. Pigs will remain flightless.
9. Clothes will learn to wash themselves.
10. An additional 16 NCAA football "bowl" games will be created.
11. Bowls will become scarce in America.
12. Computers will get smaller.
13. Girl's basketball will be outlawed.
14. Man will establish a way station on Mars on his way to the sun.
15. The price of ice will climb as global warming continues.
16. Gas will cost more than bottled water.
17. The internet will be invented by a Democrat.
18. A Republican will ruin it.
19. There will be nothing but idiots left in North Carolina (excluding Pete).
20. The glacier covering North Dakota will recede.

here it comes again


Here comes the New Year fast on the heels of the last. Hootenanny has decided to continue posting in 2007. We can't say what you might encounter here, but we wish you would comment every once in a while. Let us know what's up. What? Don't have the time?
We'll keep the time for you.
We'll remember Woodie Guthrie, the train and the Stronghold.
Peace.

12.28.2006

Year End 2006


The goose has been cooked. The foosball table sits unassembled in the corner. The guests have fled.
The loveseat has been relieved of it's 350 lb. burden. It (the burden) flew out this morning from Terminal Three at Sky Harbor. The plane at an odd tilt fighting the additional weight. The loveseat will recover, the meat thermometer will not.
Old yellow-dog left the day before, a mumbling mess of trembles sporting new boots and plaid shirt. A 4:49 flight to Houston International to be picked up by warden and returned safely to the detention center.
Yes, Christmas 2006 has come and gone. There are a lot of left over candy and cookies, cards and bird carcasses littering the neighborhood. The feral cats will eat well into the New Year. Hope you will as well.

12.24.2006

chihuahua christmas


It's dang near here.

12.18.2006

long trail ahead


Hootenanny checks in with Santa.
The Hootenanny editorial staff enjoys a long, cordial history with Santa and recently touched base with The Yuletide Dude as he scouted western routes for Christmas 2006. After running 87 Southbound out of San Antone, TX and El Paso de Robles, NM, Santa veered north to Riverton, WY before dropping south to chase the North Platte route through Nebraska. Chances are this year he'll blow up through Valentine, Pine Ridge and Hot Springs before spider-webbing Kadoka, Phillip and Wall. He is one clever logistical SOB!
The Reindeer powertrain is the same. Aging like Santa himself but still quite capable of transporting booty near and far. Rudolph is still the Ops Manager, flies the craft and navigates Santa's chosen path. It's all as it always was and always will be.
Just a couple of changes. Rather than cookies and milk, leave a vegetable tray with lowfat dip and maybe some yogurt or granola for the ride. Like you and me, Santa is watching his cholesterol. And maybe just a small glass of red wine for the heart and the cold. It's brutal at 35,000 feet.

let 'er rip


This is Gilbert Steve the Copper Penny Kid. Gilbert Steve runs Main Street Gilbert with a fast gun and a bad temperament. He bags groceries at the Liberty Market, schools at Gila River East Navaho Day School and does IT for my company on weekends. He's touchy and troublesome, like a black rattler or a white scorpion, but he keeps things in order. He's Microsoft asp.net certified, writes C ++ Javascript applications in his sleep and set up my wall-mounted HDTV system for $75 on a weekend with six illegals and a gallon of Sunny-D.
Gilbert Steve is a Renaissance Man. He listens to Enrico Caruso on an old 78 rpm single tube player/amp. He can find the best prosciutto in the Valley and cooks his brown eggs with pancetta, not bacon. His cinnamon ricotta custard will blow your mind.
Yet, Gilbert Steve lacks a BB gun. That's right, a proper BB gun. Gilbert Steve can't down a quail, dove or duck with his pathetic little cap gun. Rabbits infest his pepper patch.
Hootenanny would like to enlist your assistance on behalf of Gilbert Steve. Send your prayers to the Church of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in Mesa or just send one dollar to Gilbert Steve c/o Hootenanny in Gilbert, AZ. You will be glad you did because we're telling Gilbert Steve if you didn't.

hank williams III

12.16.2006

pip

I wrote late into the evening over a lead bottle of India blue ink. Considering the speed of the publisher and his late, intestate equipment, was there any choice? My days as a bottle-black were numbered.
Someone called me Pip. Out across the tide flats of the lower Thames and up just a bit from the tide-pool where the garbage collects itself. Someone called me Pip.
As Pip, I stood among the reeds of the Thames floodplain, wondering.
So much for the Broken Social Scene.

12.15.2006

hiatus

Hootenanny Hiatus.
Hootenanny posting may be few and far between over the Holidays although we'll make an effort to get some stuff up from time to time. Please bear with us and join us in 2007 for another year of toil and trouble, hijinks and happenstance.

12.10.2006

nature girl


Nature Girl is the story of Honey Santana, a mildly deranged single mom who is so infuriated at being insulted by a telemarketer that she lures him from Texas to Florida with the intention of giving him a stern dressing down. But her quest is complicated by her decent but crooked ex-husband, a dope-runner; the telemarketer's girlfriend, a bombshell whose five minutes of fame were in writing a fake tell-all sex memoir called Storm Ghoul; a half-blood Seminole who goes on the lam after a tourist drops dead on his fanboat tour; a lecherous fishmarket owner whose amputated thumb and forefinger have been swapped by an incompetent surgeon; and the telemarketer's wife and the private eye she sends to spy on her wayward husband.

This is vintage Hiaasen -- filled with convulsively funny comic situations, grave ruminations on the state of the Florida Everglades, lovable and detestable characters, and keen suspense. A great holiday read.

Link to BoingBoing.

12.09.2006

christmas music

you may see several posts in the upcoming days celebrating christmas
my wreath is on the door
my lights are up
my welcome mat is out

12.08.2006

electric football

rock sock

12.07.2006

pat

Hootnenanny Editor in Chief Douglas Teever (HEC) has many friends but few are so delightful as Pat. Pat worked at Wall Drug same time as HEC. She'd come by, flash a big smile full of perfect teeth and curly hair and make me feel special. Not special like a retard, but special like a friend.
In a short time, Pat and I connected in a way that few people do these days - like a couple of dingleberrys attached to the same damn dingleberry tree. I was funny, she was funnier. I was serious, she was still funnier. If I got angry, Pat walloped me upside of my over-sized head.
I hope Pat reads this and I hope she knows that if she ever makes it down to Gilbert Arizona I will make a space for her in the garage. She can stay as long as she likes. Even if I have to move the recycle bin.

wounded knee


We have all seen this picture before.
I just finished watching Episode Six of "Into The West". They did a good job of chronicling Big Foot's run from the Grand River to Wounded Knee after the murder of Sitting Bull. We all know what happened when they got there. Pretense led to combat. Carefully positioned Hotchkiss fifty cals raked the encampment. More than three hundred were murdered. All to avenge Custer's mistake on the Greasy Grass?
Arizona Senator John McCain has suggested we posthumously award Congressional Medals of Honor for the US soldiers that carried out this dirty business. While I respect Senator McCain, I can no longer support his agenda. This is a pivotal issue. And he is dead-ass wrong.
So, like you, I'm left wondering.
In all this time, has our government gotten any smarter?
I really don't think so ...
Actions are louder than words.

for bobbie for christmas - like a card or something

marty robbins
story of my life
makes me think of bobbie h
bobbie est la plus belle femme de toute le monde

12.06.2006

Just in time for Christmas!

One of the coolest toys ever!

12.04.2006

for alec

my nephew alec passed away on thanksgiving day
in texas small plane crash
he was way cool
this one of his favorite artists - elliot smith
he turned me on to him at thanksgiving in wall, SD in 2005
i'll miss alec

pass the dutchie

an old clip from the 80s
musical youth

johnny horton

battle of new orleans

12.03.2006

sleepy

Sunday in Gilbert is all about borrowing a ladder from my neighbor Peter and his wife Bobbie so I can put up some Christmas lights. It was nice here today - cool but about 70. It feels even warmer in the sun. I particularly like driving down the wide streets of suburban Phoenix with the windows down in the truck - palms line the road, mountains in the background.
But heck, it's Sunday and I'm sleepy. I'm gonna grill a rib eye, watch some football (go Broncos) and tuck it in.
See you tomorrow.

12.01.2006

cranberries


i just ran across one of the best blogs i've ever read
i'm hooked
cut and paste this url
http://cranberrytarts.blogspot.com/

i'm still your fag

broken social scene
toronto, ontario
canada

it's a good idea to keep track of the Canadians
don't be shocked by the man-love connotations of the following video
this isn't brokeback mountain
not that there's anything wrong with that
stay above the fray
appreciate artistic license
drama is for free in the new world
please

wake up

montreal's arcade fire